Name:Bryan Lim Ming Kai
Born:111090
Email :bryan.kai@hotmail.com
Single
20 this year
(he love you)

fav pic
" You "
people around me
family
purple
green
white
black
sleep
play
GOD
to be cared
to be love

My only wishes is you will live happily ever .

designer Skinn xiia0d3vil

Fall for You - Secondhand Serenade

i did a morning post just now , and now i wanted to write my another half day of my days ..
was playing dota for whole afternoon after school ..
halfway , mother wake up ...and my brother came back from camp ..
its been long time since i last saw him .i think its about a month since i last saw him ..
i was so happy to see him , because he is a brother that always support me .
and always listen to me ..so , we chit chat ...i love the feeling man ..:)
ok , a bad thing happen today ..was trying to share with my mum about today morning case .
but , when i started to share ...she just never listen and just say all my wrong ..:)
so , really , its the first time i ever shout at her and telling her i am disappointed on this family ..
and i was saying those words that make her disappointed too ...i almost lost ..
i walk to the kitchen and look at downstair , and i really wanted to just jump down at the moment .

i i just remember some sentence i am shouting ..
" You all like to help her help there , but will never help the family !!"
" You all can help and change people , but will never can help the family "
" You all go and love your that daughter lor , i am ok with it and i used to it "
" Eh , i am not primary school la , did you ever think of my feeling anot "
" Eh , i am ok without you all la , i am really disappointed in you all "
" Eh , you all really make me going give up on christian la "

i was abit regret that i say things really hurt her , because she is the most indecent person in the family ..I'am sorry , but i still need to say before things goes wrose ..
Sorry mum .

So , after that , i take my phone and ring my friend asking to go gym ..
cause only when i am frocing myself on workout and keep running is the best way for me to distress ..so , i just pack my stuff and when out without a bye ..
but i know deeply inside my hearts , i am worry for the hurt i put on her ..
so i when home and tell my kor kor to look after my mum then i when out again ..

when to gym for a stress excise ..
was chatting about God and others religons ..
me and weixiang brother was sharing gospel to weixiang and weiyan telling God love them .
so happy that i got a tag team ..LoLs .
and when to dinner with them and stuff ..
Btw , the dinner was 57 bucks !!!Omg ..
buy thanks to them , they settle for me ...>.<
thanks for the treat !!!!
and when home ...
and now, i was at home ..!

Labels: Sorry mum, what type of love you gave me is not the type of love i wanted .

On air

ok , long time since last post maybe ,
yesterday life is quite bored ...wakeup at morning 7am ,
prepare my stuff and when school for my sport and wellness (gym)...
was quite sleepy , but i can't let my sleepy decide my fate ...
so , was force to do some workout at school ...as my nafa test is coming on next coming week ..
its like ...i want GOLD !!!!but , so sad ....my hand started to pain again ...
was quite disappointed on myself ...LOLs ..because thats one of my friend was smaller size then me, but he can able to carry the 80 Kg weight for 10 times .. and i only can carry 50 for 12 times ...
was so discourage ..LOL .

but , after that , i notice ...he when gym longer then me ...LOL !!!
so , thats make me find back my hope ..

then was really no strength for the whole day ..
but , i meeted my friend to go gym at the evening ..Omg , i was like ...
so , when home to play computer and surf net ...was trying my best to relax ..
so on the evening time ...friends from navel came back from work ...
so meet him for gym ...was so long since i last saw him ...
was quite happy that we talked about our past when i was still in secondary one and two ..
was quite funny when we look back ..LoLs !
and we was talking about the coming 2012 that the doom time world ..
all people will die ..lol ,
i don't want die so early !!! i still haven drive my car and have my dear son and wife ...
HOW CAN I DIE ON THE AGE OF 22 if 2012 its the end days ???
OMG .!!!
then when home eat , watch tv and sleep ...

ok , thats a big news about today ..
morning , was sleeping ...needed to reach school by 8.30am ...
but , i told my parents ...i need reach school by 8.30am ...they thought i am lying to them ??
they told me , if you are lying to us , means you are lying to yourself ...
and i still remember once my teacher send me a message telling me .
there is not morning lesson , but afternoon lesson still same ..
then i told my father , morning no lesson , i will go school at afternoon ..
then i when back sleep ..guess what ??? he go try to call my teacher and ask iziit true ?
Omg ..i am not primary one and secondary 1 ...but i am 19years old young adults can ...
if every parent did this ...then the teacher will be damn busy on answering phone ..
then if the teacher tell my class about this ..how am i going to face friend knowing that i had a parents that never trust me ??

Omg , what kind of parent is this ..no brain or retard ??
only think for their own , and their daughter .. what about me ??
ok , lets jump back about today ...was abit lazy to wake up ..cause my body body was pain ..
and my father was nagging there ...why always you are the one that like to make me angry and bad mood ??Omg , was like damn angry ...he was like ...keep waking me up by 7am ...
but normally i wake up at 7.30 am(a hour before class) ..but he was keep nagging at me ...
then i was like so disappoint telling him , if waking me up make you bad mood , then don't wake me up next time ...then he run to me and scold me and kick me once !!!!
then i shout at him , don't need to use hand one ...if want ..then i wakeup then say ..
then i stand up and go bath ..and he when to don't know where ...was no interest on him ..
so faster do my things and go school ..meet willis for breadfast and go class ..btw , today 10.30 release ...due to teacher was sick and on MC leave ..so , accommpany jeffrey to OUB bank to open new account ..he was like , so rich can ..withdraw 1.5k for his new account ..
but , can't blame ..his father support ..and i only had mother support ..
was talking about bike and car ..
willis going to enroll by next week (stupid , mother support) ,
and i going to work on june for next month for bike enroll ..
so , for now ...finding supporters ..but i don't want depends on timah ..but myself ..:)
ok , nothing more ...

was so tired to work hard for church ..
really tired , maybe i put you all as hope of friends and even think of changing and go into the life of you all , but , it always fail ..and i really tired , for now , just meet people that wanted to meet me ..love people that love me ...reflects how people treat me ..missing people that miss me ..thinking for people that think for me ..

byes guys .

Labels: Full reflects on every single one .

On air

Yesterday when to cycle with caleb they all ..
its been long long time ago since i last cycle ...
think about 5years back i guess ...i miss the past of cycling feeling ..
but lucky , i found back abit through cycling with caleb they all ..
but i still miss the past time ..those time we cycle around and disturbing ...LOL
calling police to catch us ..put out challenge to police ...LoLs ..
but of cause now i can't do all this again ...LoLs .
Ok , i was late home at 10.45pm ..hoping my officer will not come up to check on me ..
and my hope come true ..and lucky , my father is talking to her daughter ..
so , the attention on me is not so much ..and did not get any scolding ...Heng arhs!!!

though the way ...wei xiang ask me ride to sembawang there ..and he say more fast ..
and its like double the road from gambas ..!!!
so , halfway ..i decide to change the way home from sembawang shopping center to home ..
and sembawang shopping center is so nice now la ...
think when i am bored ..i want to go there walk walk ..
but i think it will be at july .:) cause brother will come out ..:)and people will accompany me go ..
and half way , weiyan fall down ..>.<
cause the bike is stupid ..and i use up quite alot of time repairing the bike ..
why is only i ?
because weixiang and weiyan dont know how to repair ...LOL
okok ..end .

then today , wake up at 8.45am , prepare for school ....
when school study and stuff ...and my whole body is so tired till i gonna die ..
but i still need to stay strong ..:)
then there is some problems ...and willis ask me wanna go timah anot ...
i was deciding on this for the whole day ..??
go timah , i can won't be so bored .and there are all friends at there .
and i can even drink and talk to at there ...
but , end up i never go , cause my monday is a rest day for me ..
and i want to rest my body enjoying and find freedom for my life after school ..
so , after school . i stay at home do some work out and play computer ..
till now .

Someone message me asking me whats wrong with me ..
i don't know how to answer .. i scare i will make someone angry again .
so , i did not reply ...
still thinking how to reply ..
i don't want she wait .but i also don't want she find trob with me ..
so , i am sorry .

and i was so happy on tomorrow that there is someone accompany me to gym tomorrow ..!!!
yeahhh !!!

Sorry for all those life i give on to you , hope you will be fine ..
since you keep telling me , you are very fine always ..
i hope its true , and i hope you will .
since you can might able to share with other people , and you really can't share to me always ..
then sorry for the unless me , i will leave your life step by step and don't worry .

Labels: it will always not equal little things on what others people do .., No matter what i do

On air

Labels: HIGH, The next vitim .Don't promise me when nothing is done from you . don't talk big when you did nothing .

On air

• Della story(Name is change to protect identity.Base on true story)
  

Labels: cherish every sec of life .

On air

lols ...had nothing much to write i guess ...
ytd night manage to talk to her , but father kpkb that i keep use my phone ..wtf
i had been don't know how long never use phone ..
man always see on the bad but not good ...
and just now too ..i tired talk again ..but , father nagg again ..
omg , i was thinking ..you are not the one feeding me from small till now .
till now is still my mother feeding me , but not you ..why you care??!!
lols .but i dont want to hurt my dad feeling ...
Omg , God save me ..!!!i want her .!
ok , today was quite a fun day ..
church is pack with people ...wow , God blessed JDBC uh!!
then worship and stuff ...its was very enjoy i beg ..
whenever i stress or what , but whenever i when to worship .God really help me to carry my burden aways ..iloveyou .!

ok , after that , when to pastor house for some prayer ..
BECAUSE , ENGLISH GROUPS IS START !!!MAY GOD USE US !
and its starting in the june .. wow , super excited la ..lols
ok , after prayer , i when to sleep at his house , due to i was really really tired ..
not only my body need rest , my soul needs baddly too !!!
sleep till 7 plus and i wake up ..abit blur vision ..and saw not people at home.
so when to call caleb and ask him where is he , and they was cycling at sembawang ..
so train down to sembawang and meet them for some cycling ..
wow , its quite enjoy that caleb bring us to a huge car park ..but its was really fun when you started to cycle down the slope with a 40km/h speed with a bicycle .?
he try quite alot of time , and it was really super enjoy and de-stressing myself ..
i really miss the past that we cycle till morning .!!LOL.

and a best joke of the day , i fall down ..
got some scar , but it will always not pain then the pain .

so , reach home do some workout .and a game of dota ..
and rest !

Whenever i started i think of those happening things , i started to emo .. started to have many many question in my brain . how am i going to do ??i really wanted to try best for a last chances , but think you woulden gave .nevermind , i will wait till the day i can't ..

Bod bless ,
Takecare ,
Iloveyou .

On air

Hmmmms , today was quite boring ...
whole body was cramp like dogs ...cant even move well ..
sleep for very long ..LOL .found no strength to wake up ..

was missing you , who know ?
hmmms ....was treated for launch ...thanks God that he know i pok liao ..LOL

ok , wanna share something bad ...
because of her , i almost fight with my father ..
i remembered , my father keep asking me ..
you cant keep depend on people ...do it yourself ,
sounds great arhs ??!!!
PI LA !!!
suddenly i got a toughts ..
then father mother is for what ???
nagging machine arhs ?
or , when mood down or not good ...find something to nag to or talk to ??
_|_ shit you ass hole ..
sounds nice , train me to be independent ...
sound nan ting is , you does not wanted to care much of me ..!!!!
only my mum treat me best ..she will give up everything because of me ..and i love her alot ..
but too bad , i dont know how express it out .
but , listen ...anyone hurt my mum ..i will hurt their 18th generation .

ok , life is peaceful ..wake up , do some workout , go school , go home , dota and sleep ...
thats my life ... and i wanted to say , dota is not my everything ..and dota is just a time burnner in my life ..so , you know i most wanted is what ..

ok , having some mood swing now days ...was thinking qutite alot of things ..
but , i had no choice .i still need to seems strong outside ..i still need to fight for my things !
so , never ending giveup spirit , i pray you will come into my body !!!
AND EVERLASTING FOREVER LOVE , I PRAY YOU ALSO COME INTO MY LIFE !!!
ok , nothing much to post as all days had nothing much event ..

BTW , HAPPY BIRD DAY ASHELY HO WAN QIAN !!!
takecare God bless ..

Labels: but i fail ., love won't fail

On air

i use to be a kid of happiness , i use to be the happy star of people ...
OMG !!!What had happen to me ??
i can't sleep , i can't have peace now !!!!
whenever i start to think ...i start to shake .!
brothers , father , mother , friends i need you !!!!!!!
i never had this kind feeling before .Its sucks ..
i had no strength to do anything ..
God!!!save me please !!!what am i going to do ?what i will be ended in ?
JESUS !!! i need you !! Where is the mingkai ??!!!
OMG ! come back !!LIM MING KAI COME BACK !!
this is not me , i am sure ..this is totally not me !
i started to think like this ..but i do with different things ..!!
i have this mindset .. but i did another mindset !!!
I AM LOST !!HELP ME PLEASE !! HELP ME FRIEND !!
i don't want to be like this ...this is suffering to me ..
it really scare me out almost my soul ..
i wanted to end now !! end my this freaking life !
i don't wanted to leave everyone ...how ??!!!
why i always bring a smile out yet i am not smiling inside ??
OMG !!! i am so fake ...fucking fuck out of my body !!!
i wanted to be myself ..a self of freedom and loved mingkai .!!
but i am an annoying idiot to everyone ..!!
PLEASE SAVE ME !!
LIM MING KAI ! i pray you will come back NOW !!
Or just send me to mental hospital please ..!! gonna crazy like that ..
everything really different now !!!HOW HOW !!
i pray RTC will break off !!!

vengeance will revenge ...!!!!

Labels: YOU WILL DIE .

On air

Ok , so lets post things on sunday ...
wokeup at the morning for church with my father ...
had some breakfast at my home downstairs ...
had no courage to call you ...Omg , i just like a girl ???!!!LOL
so , when to church at 9.30am ..
had some worship and stuff ...was quite touching cause jesus die on the cross for our sin ...
the words ...we are accepted you are rejected really touch my heart ..
really thank you for dying for us and today ..we are not long be rejected ..
thank you jesus ..
:D

had some prayer for our coming english worship starting ..
was really excited that God choosen us to glorify his name ..
Yeahhhs...!!!!
i will do all the best for you God ...
ok , then when home to sleep as life still abit bored ..
sleep and wake up to play some dota ...LOL
then when back to sleep ...
life seems so peaceful and bored now ..

don't reject me will you ..
try for a last time and give me time to prove to change can you ??

takecare & Godbless.

On air

as life goes till 19years ..i understood and saw the evil of man ..
and its because of this ..i had fear , fear on human ...
ohhhh ..protect myself or other ??

On air

yesterday was quite happy cause i going out again ...
was so happy and sleep so early just incase i missed the meeting ..
so nothing much ...

today , was quite busy for the whole day ...
when to the good news singapore ...was so enjoy and touching ..
i suddenly had the feeling of God and the calling back from God ..
when to bugis ..and then , when to woodlands ??
was quite happy at the first starting ...
very long never spent time with you and i wanted to spent ..
but , things changing fast ..very fast ..compare to the past and now ...
its heaven and hell ..
i dont know why i got to be treated like that ..but , nevermind ..thankyou anyway .

was getting moody just now and now ...
why there is a millions of person in the earth , and i had to fall in love in her so deep that i cant effort to lost her ??!!!
i just wanted to be like the past ...but things won't be so good for now on i guess ..
i am sorry ..maybe i did hurt you alot or whatever make you change so much in your view ..
i really wanted to try hard ..but , when will i collapse from this ...
lord i pray i will found strength and courage on this problems ..
there are millions of people you will treat good , but not me always ..
maybe i really own you too much ...:)
i'am sorry ...
she told me , just change for her and start to be a new person now ..
i wanted !!!its all i want ..but , its always not so easy always ..
no matter how am i or what be become ..i will still wanna be the best man ever in your life i try ..
i will never give up on this till i am fully collapse in this ...

btw , just got nagged by my father ??
saying , why i walk so fast and never wait ??
LOL , nice one ah ...humans always hear the one side of the story ..
but my father ever ask , what happen to me ??
answer is ..NO WAY !!
retard human its like that ..
father , thanks that you will stop nagging ...
if not i think i will be angry and crying shouting to you i promise ..
how you and people relationship is your problems ...
not mine anyway ..
father mother ,trust me ...if one day you side others then me ..
i tell you ..i will be disappointed and will not want you to be my father mother ..
please ask the answer before start nagging at me ...
i told you last time ...i promise i will shoot you all back every time once you started to do before ask ..nagg before ask ..

God , please save me on this ...i had nothing more worth for me to care for ...
God , help me settle this will you ??!!!

AND A LAST REAL WARNING ...
IF I AM EXTRA ...I WILL GO HOME SLEEP ..I CANT STAND THIS JOKE I SWEAR .IT TOO MUCH FOR ME ALREADY ...IF I WAS DRIFTED AGAIN .I WILL SWEAR I WONT BE SO KIND AGAIN ..
I WOULD RATHER DON'T WANT A FUCKING FRIEND THEN HAVING THIS STUPID RETARD FELT DRIFTED PROBLEMS .!!!AND I SWEAR I CAN BE VERY BAD ONCE ONLY TO A PERSON ..PLEASE DON'T TEST ME ..FUCKING WANTED TO ACT ?! I WILL FUCKING KILL YOUR LOVE ONE !!!!!!
RATHER HAD FRIEND THAT LIE ON ME ALWAYS THERE THEN HAVING FRIEND THAT ACTING BLUR !!OR USING ME ..!

i dont know what happen to me , God.. think bring me home will better before i started be a unwelcome boy thinking all this ...
Thanks god , only you understand me and only you listen to me all the time ..!

Labels: treat him nice and he will .

On air

ok ...draft about why i last few day did't post anythings ...
excuses and bullshitting excuse is because i was busy playing MU online games at home and was trying my best to slot out the game ...LOL

ok , last few day i forget quite alot things i do ...
i try my best to post as many as i can ...:D
heard my dear brother weikang and shi jie going to army soon..
So buck up my time for them more ? i would be bored alone when they are in army i guess ..
cause due to waiting for my dear 5 brother in RTC haven release ...
and they are going army soon ...so sad ..
like that when i need someone to talk to ??who can i go ??!!!LOL

shi jie had some problem with his girlfriend ...due to doing some stupid things to hurt girls ..
OMG ...FUCK YOU SHI JIE ...sorry , as a brother ..i still need to say ...
cause this thing is not what we boy need to do i guess ..
i can only help as much as i can and really hope you treasure it brother ..
i really want you to have a good realation ship and stable down your life ..
promise me ok ? i don't mind you are busying with your girl friend ...
but i mind i do stupid things and yet you two had been together for 2 years ??
brother , all the best ...give in more because you did something quite wrong ..
please understand ..just let her do what she want and stop qurralling already k ?
as you know , i am a well know peace maker ..Wahahax.. so , i really hope all our brother will have the peace too ...outside what happen you don't peace ..i can do nice nice for you ...
but i really hope this things you must give in to it this time ...
ok , talk till here ..stop begin K.P.O already ...LOL
talk something about myself ...:D

My new computer had came ..!!!was qutite happy yeahhhhh ,
cause i can don't need to face the auto shutdown and other stupid problems already ..LOL
thats the reason why i am not posting my post for past few days .??!! lols.
but , of cause computer is not my everything ...
of cause you guys stands aibt in my life too...!!!wahahax.
was quite lazy to update ..LOL

btw , this few days i sleep at 6am morning ...and wake up quite early too ...
OMG , i am going shutdown like my computer too .!!!
feel like getting sick soon ...wohooo..thanks god ...tomorrow had a healing service !!!
go there heal heal heal ..!!!
but of cause ...i need my spiritual healing too.!!!

had some problems last few days ... due to someone got beaten up by 6people ..
and i need to help it out ..so i ask around who did it ..
and finally ...let me found out !!
so , we talk till abit angry that they don't want to admit wrong ??
so i keep asking ...want or not ??dont want then nevermind ...LOL
then they keep asking me out to talk ...OMG , make me so stupid angry !!!
so i tell them to come out now and talk ..ask them call everyone come down .
and at first i am going to give them ..
but , too bad ...they are same ..
and talk quite long for this problem ...
finally .settle with win win stuation ..:P

btw , i last few days hand abit itchy ...
so when to find some fighting ??LOL
end up me god bleed ...but , i never lose ..LOL
fighting spirit is one of me in my body ..!!
lols.
i am despo for the pain and the feeling !!Omg ..
i fond in love with fights ...
trust me , the pain is super nice feeling then ever drugs can take over..LOL

ok , lets talk about today !

today worship is a word...GOOD ...so touching that jesus die on the cross for our sin ..
and yet there are people saying he die for right ..jesus !!!save them please. !!!
service started at 2pm afternoon ..it was a good start ..
thank God for dying for us for our sin ...
and today was quite excited for the 5pm - 7pm drama show by new chris mission ..
it was quite a good story talking about people that got realationship problem with family and people that took drug and youth that turn to problems ..
it was really a good show ...and the best things of the part is ..
they do everything because of Jesus !!!!AMEM!
so clever of them ..really cause Jesus gave them the wisdom ..
and they where sharing that , Jesus is a god that change a person ...
i belive .. God is love !!!i feel it ..
you know , the show was quite touching ...as people that don't know the problem and never face before ...they don't understand ..its quite funny ...but i really find it very touching ...
it make me remind of my past that my family is also like that ..
and it remind me of those pain that i had in my family ...
but really thanks God , God change my family ...
and today .i had a great loving family ...
ya , sometime there is still fights ..but at least i know ..
God is the master of my house ..!!!

i am proud of my father ...and i love my father mother truefully ..
but sometimes too bad ..i don't know how to express out ...ohahaha..
ok , was quite a good past day and today ...
and there and quite many events that i like coming ...
was quite on form ..LOL
was just playing computer , sleep , eat , go out ..nothing real problem coming on ..
and tomorrow is a powerful day that i can meet someone since last meet ...
i really need to sleep so before i miss the meeting ..
and guys ...
she mean alot to me ..really .:)
pray for me that tomorrow everything will be fine and she would be happy after all ...:D
and one more event is the healing service at night ...cool man ...:D
updae soon , sorry for not posting last few days ..

you are cute , you are indecent in my heart always .
you are worthy , you are always stand tall .
you are pissed , remember i am always there .
you cried , please came to me , i will lend you my shoulder .
remember , i will always be there for you ..
right here waiting .


God bless and love ..
takecare..

Labels: love alot

On air

Yesterday church service is good ..
so glad for everything ..but one problem is i am very tired this few days ...
lack of sleeping ...keep sleeping at 5am wake up at 10am ...
i think i going black out if i like that again ..lols..

thanks for begin a good girl again ...
thanks for everything ..i treasured ..

Btw , nothing more in my life ...and i just got my computer done...WOOTHOOO!!!
Hahax ..
takecare guys.

On air

yesterday sleep at 5plus again ..everyday same...:P
quite happy for my job ...:)
and today ...i wake up at 4pm in the afternoon !!!Omg , slot of lazy pig i am ...wahahax..
when for launch with my dad and pastor and pastor ma at yishun block 807...
after that , they when for leader meeting ...and i.....
when to park to have some walk alone ...
was seeing some kid's play volleyball ...thinking of my past ...LOL
enjoy without stressing ...never think about money problem ..
just to play everyday ...easily entertained . :D
how much i hope i will forever live in my young times ...
but i know ...i cant ...time is not waiting for me too ...
i better start thinking about my future ...

ok , then after that , i when back home ...and they just end the meeting ...
so , i prayed with them ...and when to Jabez house for Sunday worship practice ...
awhile ...caleb came too ...was choosing what sound to lead on this coming sunday ..
quite enjoy there ...
then after that ...when for prayer meeting at night with them ...
sing some songs and started praying for everyone even the world ...LOL
was kind of hungry on that time ...but ...who cares ...i can care for others ...but not myself ...LOL
but after prayer meeting ...we when to eat something at woodlands ...
but its not really a nice dinner through .. was drifted one side ???LOL
so when to find my friends for awhile near there ...thought may find something to de-bored myself ...so when over to find them ...
half way ...i make someone angry for my act saying all had been waiting me to go home ..
so , i faster say bye and go with them ...
then i just wanted to ask caleb about something ...but end up making someone angry ..
so , sorry for this ...
misunderstood goes more and more ...
don't understand what you all thinking bout ...
care and concern shows nothing ...
was quite emo at time thinking why should i do this and that ...think is satan jobs ...

Sorry for everything !!!!

but , no matter how people know me as ...i know God still love me ...
and i don't give a damn in yours life ..!!
think i putted a big wrong proity this time ...
i shall not ask much from you guys ...sorry~~~~
think i shall really wait my dear brother out ...
maybe on that time ...there will really be a listener for me ....
maybe they know me longer thats why ...
what for begin a joker that don't make people laugh ???
what for begin a listener to people don't talk ??
what for begin a lover that they don't have love ???
what for begin good when they don't feel good ?? wahahahahx...
emotion , feeling and mood ...you really got me in deep shit now ...
i hate it !!!
are we all really from different world ??
ya ,
we are darkness ...you are light ...
we are bad ...you are good ...
we had different childhood ..??
we came from different family ???
we came from different back ground ??
we have different needs ??
we had different topic ?
we do different things ??
we go different places ?
stay different places ?

is there really so many different from my life to you all ??
ohhhh , if its really ...
i think i should find groups that had the same background same childhood same dark same needs talk same topic do same things ba ...:D
Wahahahax ....God save me ...
Sorry guys ..btw , today prayer meeting learn alot ...but kind of lazy and moody to post and my computer started to auto shut down again...so .....sorry ...:D
if got chance ...i will post more to update ...

The most evil side of man is really scare ..
They can do anything to make you down plus give up ...
They can even ask you go do things that make you cant stand up and face people again ..
They can we good when happy , bad when happy ..

Sorry for my words today ...hope you will not put in your heart ..
just want you takecare yourself well you and your body ...
not giving up , but learning to be better ...
i will be back when i reach what personality you wanted ...
if the day i can't reach ..i will not be claiming iloveyou ..
i really hope you may share with me your saddness whenever you needs ..
cause i wantted to share the pain with you ..
share with me will you ?
wait for me will you ??

Thanks for accompanying me message at late night ..
Thanks for cheering me up ..

Good luck ..
God bless ..
Takecares ..
Thanks ..

On air

Slept at 5.30am yesterday .due to posting blog and watching tv ...
Omg , was kind of pissed ...i used 3 hours to post my blog , end up there small crop up and many things was deleted ....>.<

Okok , so i decided to post things on today ...:)
waaahhhhs , sleep at 5.30am woke up at 10am ...cause need to go MCYS for probation reporting ...shag shag ...was kind of tired ...at first was planning with my mum's for hair cutting ...end up i woke up late . So just bath and rush there ...lucky thanks God ..was not late cause i need to reach there by 11am ...
Before i when in , was kind of happy cause a new fresh day started..
and was talking to David on the phone ..was talking bout this year is quite tough ..
many bad things happen on me and him ..and it was true ...>.<
then , i when in for report ...guess what ...
when i first when in ...was kana nag like hell for my long hair ..
almost got scolded till head smelly ...LOL
but thanks god , i was there keep saying sorry and smiling ..:D
then we had done on some paperwork ..
she shared with me a hidden bless of God ..
was sharing , there is a ship that crash ...everyone was die ..
left a person alone in a small weird town ...
the person was sad and asking god ...why things happen like that , and i was thrown to a small town ..then nevermind , after that that person go build a small house and stay there for around a week ..and the small house was make by woods ...then ,
one day , the person when to hunt some food ...
but , when he was back ...he saw his little house was burn by fire ..and only left the ashes there ...LOL ...so he was really super disappointed and sad ..asking god , why will you treat me like that ..and now i had no place to stay !!!
but , 5mins later , a big boat came to rescue him ...
and he was asking ...why you know i am at here and i need to be rescue ?
the people said , cause we saw that there are big smoke going to the open air , and that means sos ?so we came over ...

ok roughly ...this story let me understand .
If his house was not burned ..
the big ship will not come to rescue him ...cause they don't know he was at there ..
due to the smoke ...:D
so that means , sometime things that we see may not be good to us ..
but god know ...
and if not because god let the house on fire burning , those people will not know he was there ..so , there is always a good way when we willing to wait and endure to the end ...:D

ok , then after all things ..i when home to relax , was very tired ...planning to sleep for awhile while we 6pm had a family fellowship at home ...but , after i when home with a laska , i am very full ,and i cant sleep ...so deiced to watch tv again ...but of course i did my worship and quiet time with god first ..!!!then i open my tv and watch , then when to open computer thinking who online ..
then saw , melissa ..chat with her about something for quite long ..
and ya , maybe i must change ...not you .:)
kind of stupid of me ..forever so stupid ...
then , i use comp till 6pm ..forgotten to sleep ...
lolx...then the xiao fang come over our our house as i don't know i suddenly got a new family members ...LOL
father was sharing on ..

Matthew 4:18-20 (the first disciples)

i learned something though the story ..

1.when God calling for you .Just put down your everything and start to walk with him and God promise is to show you more better things ..

2. we start nothing to walk with God ..Don't hold on to the world when following Jesus.

John 12 :24 (Jesus predicts his death)

"I tell you the truth , unless a kernel of wheat is planted in the soil and dies , it remains alone . But its death will produce many new kernels - a plentiful harvest of new lives ."

ok , i share abit ....you know the plants produce seed ?and the only way to grow more plants thourgh plants ..the seeds must die on the grow in order to grow again ..and i learned .

1. If you wanted to save/change a person .. you must die from yourself in order to do ..

2. Sacrifice for christ ..

3. Die to yourself in order to produces more ...

And sharing about sin power !!

1. Sinner will be crused for genaration ...

2. Satan will use sin to make you fall deeper and deeper in sin by take more sin to cover a sin ..and end up you will create more sin to yourself ..

then after fellowship , pastor leong came and teach english ..LOL
so was kind of hungry , when out to hunt for food ...so ...
was chatting on msn ..and meet up someone to fair price to +mai cai+ ..
and she said cook for me ...LOL , so cool ..free dinner uh ...so , when there to brought some indegrent and when her house to wait her to cook finish ..was kind of helping also ...lols..and it was really quite nice even it is not really nice :P
but really got the heart huh ...:)
so i packed some food home for my mother and father too ...
but , mother did not eat ...stupid...>.< your son cook for you de lehhhh....lolx..joking.
then eat ate drink ..finally my +tu zhi+ is full ...so happy ..
then i was telling the xiaofang ...call me mei mei , don't call me didi ..cause i don't like ..:(
and and and ...my day goes like this ...:D



was quite happy hearing she is fine ,
but for what i know ...
she got some problem going on in her mind ..
hope she will be fine ba .
hope she will know i am always there ba ...


Btw , i wanted to thanks ,

cun zhi nu er for wanted to be there for me ..
rena turtle for the thing ..
xiao.ning for the concen ..
caleb for the thing ..
david for the accompany ..
mel for the words ..
xiaoen for the promise ..
aunty mabel for the joy ..
alicia for letting me disturb ..
and ...mostly and firstly !!!
thank god for waking me up again today .!!
Thanks alot ..!:D

takecare lots.
thanks and love .
God bless..

On air

Yesterday slept at 5.45am due to posting blog and watching tv .:D
Before i slept , was think to pick up my phone and did something ..
but end up i had no courage to do it ... think i will not be welcome too .
So , Hope you will wake up for ______ ..
but before i sleep , i must make sure you will wake , so i did it !! ...wahahax , god bless me ...
so i when to sleep due to i need to wake up at 11am and reach gombak at 1.30 for some small problems ..Woahs , thanks David , LoLs ??
So after i reached for 20mins , mr.chua also came ...
and we when for our lunch together with , Ciffort , willis , me , mr.chua and jude ...
while eating , i was settling about something ..:D
and things go smoothly ..was a happy ending ??:D:D
After that , was kind of bored ...so i suggested to go to mr.chua house to play Gitah and piano and the most important is the dog !!! LoLs ..xiaojin ah xiaojin ,why are you so cute ..thought that mr.chua was kidding to me that he know how to play Gitah ..but end up , he play better then me ...LOL ..
that means , (ginger is still the old one hotter) ...LOL , i cant imaging a 62years old uncle play better then a 18plus years old me ...ROARS!!! Hahax ..
Then slack at his house for awhile , till ....forget the timing le ...sorry ..
then train down to woodlands with Ciffort ..and willis and jude train down to vivo city cause willis meeting his girlfriend there ..
so i and ciffort train down to woodland for some shopping ...
in the mean time , i was waiting ashely to end her CCA in school ...
cause we are going to jeffrey's birthday celebration at bugis don't know what suduku ..
yayaya , by right , we need to reach there by 7.15 pm lastest ...
but ....................by left , 7.15 pm i was still at ashely house outside !!!LOLS!!
Omg , jeffrey's should be quite disappointed on us ..LOL..
ya !! and i wanted to post a very sad things for today !!!>.< i waited all together timing for 3 hours and 55mins ....
god save me , its kind of wasting time today ...there are many ye wan lu today...LOL

And ok , i wanted to share a things today ...there is this guy i was chatting with him on msn , and i tolded him , my leg is now wrost then him , and i just came out of hospital and the doctor said "lucky, my leg almost the bone break ..and i even told him i run out of hospital ...and he really believe !!!LOLs...after that i told him is april fool !!! and his name is jabez.

And there is this girl , she told me she is now a great dancer and blah blah blah , i tought its real , but end up she only wanted to learn only ..and she told me april fool ..LOL
>.< and again she tell me she got police case today .. ask me go read her blog ..i read already , its not her again ...kana fake 2times by this stupid girl name kezzexxxx ..

wanted to cheat xiaoen that ashely was beaten up by my friends girl-friend ..but was not +chen gong+ ..clever xiaoen .!!

wanted to cheat janice that her friend got problem with me ...but was also not +chen gong+ clever janice ..!!

wanted to cheat wei xiang that i got problem and got beaten ..he told me , ya ,haven 12am ...faster go cheat other people ...LOL !!!!!

okok , write till here...its about 2.44am late ..
thanks guys for the colourfull day .!!!! love you all...
Good bless takecares ..

Hope you are enjoying too ...
wondering of you everytimes .
but i will still will try forget you , don't worry dude ..
God , i am not ready ..give me time ..

OMG!!!i posted very long ...but don't know why manything gone ...sorry , lazy to post back already ...SaD!!!:((

Labels: but cant share the day with her ..:(, Happy april fool

On air