Yeahhs . kind of bored now . so bloggggggggggggg .
i just notice that God don't want me just try to change to a better person . but he want my pass to die . trying hard to change will never change a person . but only must reach the end of life . then the person will change . sounds hard . but i will do it in my life . God want me not to change . but my nature and person must be a new one . new creation , but not change . hahas .
hmmmms . this few days i feel i am so disobey . why ? i slept at 5am the morning . do everything i like . lol i need to change before going into ns . i suddenly notice that i still got manything haven done yet awwwwww . ermmmmm .
On air
GOOD FREINDS , ONE IS MORE THEN ENOUGHT
Sunday, April 18, 2010
10:33 AM
Ok recently there is good there is bad . bad things is bad news . my good friend got caught again yet he have tagging . was kind of lost that the person he helped shoot him out . and there goes human . every time friends need help . we help . back many times friend are not grateful went you help them . thinking is a must help cases . but who care ? many people think that friend is meant for use . that's why human heart is getting cold . just like what i am feeling . when you are happy , you won't call me saying "hey , i am happy today , have you eaten ?come find me, i treat you ." NO ! is always "hey bro , can you come down help me ?i got some problem here i can't solve .i need you here to settle for me ." YES ! and this is not the worst . worst is after you help them , they got into problem . they will try all the best to protect themself by covering and point all fingers at you saying " i don't know .i just follow him here , and he is the one who planned all this ." why are there so many people out there ? SO what am i thinking now ? you can help the whole world as your friend . but finding a real friend maybe is only one . you can do anything for your friend . but doesn't mean that your friend can do something for you .
ok , this few days keep going out late . clubbing , accompany friend , slacking . life now is like waiting to die . LOLS . 14 more days to my NS . excited . my life is moving on to the next stage . a stage of learning new stuff . a stage of seeing more kinds of people . a stage of growing to be independent . a stage of becoming a real man . No more staying in this comfort zone .:( i gonna miss my friend alot . of course my family too . many things i still can't let go . but hope i can let go inside my NS time ..:D
Today i got to see something i don't like . which is daring cases . i gonna teach the guy not to do this again . seems stupid . but i still do it . many things happen . but i still can laugh like no tomorrow . sleep like no tomorrow . joke like no tomorrow . because i know . happy also a day . sad also a day . i got a choice to stay happy . why not ?! and i notice ..actually i still got alot of good friends around me . i am still not so lonely . thinking like last time , emoing about new friends . keep on thinking i give in so much yet i still treat like a stranger or left behind . WRONG . IT'S negative thoughts ! no one owned me a friendship . no one owned me a accompany too .:) i got alot of choice . choices of picking up friends . choices of meeting friends . choices of trusting and not trusting friends . choices of treating friends . and i know ,i am not gonna emo or sad for any friend again . i am gonna stay happy happy happy .:D Today church was good . quite guilty the whole day . Sorry God . You know . I know . I can't . I did . I promise . I got a reason . But i know you won't want me to have the reason . i disobey . I will do better next time . I promise you . Thank you for the love you have for me . Through the love . You always make held me up . You know how much i enjoy your love . I know how much you love me . Thanks .!
G'nights !
On air
good bye bryan
Sunday, April 11, 2010
10:42 AM
that a word said " you won't treasure till it's lost " use to be love by people . but for 1 year i am trying to treasure surrounding means to love then begin love it's really tough . but i don't want to give up . but i just want to bless your happiness . hope that i can forget everything . then you will be much more happy ... ok about change . i am going to be abit more selfish .:P to begin love than trying to love . :D i don't know where i got the power from . i can even tell her i bless you yet i am upset . hahas ..but for good i must do this . i want to live in a place that everybody smile cause of me than up cause of me . hahas ok , now i only hope that the guy is not the one i not wish to . if not i will break again . but nevermind , who cares ... hahas :)
anybody can accompany ? O.o
i'm not giving up . i just want you to be happy . i think over and over again , if i'm happy and you are not . what for what for what for ? so the only choice is to leave you alone . but when i letting you go . i am scare . i scare you will not take care of yourself well . so promise me baby will you .? not to upset by fool . don't ever do stupid things . don't ever be so silly . don't ever feel alone . don't ever hurt yourself . don't ever blame things on yourself . don't ever think that you are not good enough . don't ever think that you are not nice enough . cause there is someone caring you . and that's me :)
ok , wild wild wet trip was good if i look on positive side . cause really enjoy taking rides and seeing everyone laughing . but on negative side is not that good .. causeeeeeee i got mood swing too . was abit angry or upset . hahas . i was drowning my head . and guess , got one person came to me and quickly pull me up thinking i am drown .. wahahas .. and i smile at him and he told me sorry , i thought you are drown .LOL
today church was great . straight and kena . thanks to pastor and my dad . after that went to causeway and timezone . then i notice i m over spending . it take me 2 day to spend 150 bucks . i did not brought anything . but i don't know where it goes .. maybe too happy, didn't notice . from april 31st till now . i calculated , I had already spend around 500 bucks . i still left with so many bills to settled . how am i going to survive to my Ns which is at may 3rd ? it's time to pray . use my money wise . i am gonna use brain to find some money for saving .!:P cause if this carry on , golden hill also not enough to spend for me .:) i shall set a target . by july , i must get my own hard earn $2000 for my saving . i' m getting older .5-15 years down the road i will have a own family . it's time to save save save . haha .
yeahs , was really enjoy the time at timezone ..:D seeing everyone laughing out loud although abit Ps . but the happiness can't be describe .
and yeah , just finish my 2.4km run . i take 12min to finish my run . MAN ! i am gonna do it 9min flat before may !
why the last word always make me love you more ? today was a working day . fought with 3 person at work .. was kind of stupid person this world have . 1st .car just dash in to VIP place without holding any VIP car went i am stopping . i stare at him and took out my phone to took his car picture . he went and park his car and walk back to me . asking me "are your sure the van and lorry also a VIP member ?" i told him . don't judge people my outside sir of course he is ! he said the same thing like loser 2 said . every guard let me in only YOU don't i told him , do you know is very rude to dash in this way loser ? he told me is ok . i suddenly got heat up and tell him . ok just park and i don't know what will happen to your car later on . LOLS .he thought i will do anything to his car . and he tell me anything he will find for me to be responsible for his car. i told him sure .i will report to the management and get your car ban ! he straight away walk away speechless ..LOLS ! LOSER kiss my feet ! 2nd .car without member trying to act they have one .LOSER! was said by him . every guard let me in only YOU don't . i told him sir , my name is bryanlim .you can go feedback about me . guess what he say ? "what lanjiao you talking" LOLS .gangster ehhs . was waiting him to get down of the car . thank God , his wife fast say sorry and drove off . why can't he just talk politely at first and i will be kind enough to help him in ? LOSER 2
3rd .almost fight with a member cause he say what i doing is rude and yet i am following instruction stupid right ? ask me ask the my boss out . then went i took out phone and call he just change topic .-.- LOSE 3
btw , today was not a very good day . 0% at first . i am totally wrong in myself . always wanna love someone first . thinking of challenging is fun . now . i am deep lose ! knowing that went i start to love someone . i had already lose 90% . maybe open up letting people love i much better . muahahas . i will do my part well this time . 27th more day to ns ! hope will have a new fresh life ahead . maybe friend is right . use this chances !!! new everything . place those f up stupid things behind ! :D
Why i found that the more i love her the more i can't let go of her ? O.o It's late . That's the reason i am fear of loving someone ? did my love have any loop hole ? the more i love a person . once he/she don't trust or doubting me . i will always have the feeling rise . God Is God teaching me something from this ? I feel so sorry to God the times i still doubt and not really put in full trust in him . the feeling is unstoppable . i do love her more and more i admit . she stolen part of my life !!! is the right or not right ?
ok yesterday was a risk day of mine . i tried all sort of reason to fight for the good . no one may understand what i feel doing this . but since i did i should face it . just know that i just need to do what i needed to do without any others knowing ? prayed hard and thank God my dad didn't question me more . i want her to remain good images in my dad . not because i am hiding . i want both . but always need someone to understand . i love both . but who can understand ? :)
today was great day .. kingdom of God is growing bigger and bigger . PTL went to swim at sembawang park . was kind of abit emotional . why ?!!!!
Remembered what pastor Don preach . desire and faith is include in prayer and miracle will happen . God pour blessing without you loving him or not . but is the matter of knowing how much you know he love you . COOL . PTL!
