Story that never ever end

A little post.

2011-03-29T12:52:00.003-07:00

Was kinda getting more and more busy in life.

Need to work and keep upgrading myself in this competitive world.

But no matter how tired. I think i need to finish this blog once again for my girl.

Life is full of problems. Begin hurts, begin unfair, begin phobia of.

I face it every single bits of that. and i believe everyone's in the earth have been facing it too.

In the pass. When i always got to these kind of problems. I'll fight it hard to get what i should get.

After so many of experience, lecturing and teaching.

I'd finally got into a conclusion.

The amount of energy wasted is 100folds what i had gain.

Why not i just sit down and think of some other better and positive way to walk things out instead keep on stacking in the situation that had already bring me loses.

Is pride matter really that important for me? I don't think so.

Yea, people may remember me in that sec. But all those will be noted as a pass.

Recently keep got into sickness.

Is getting weak in body and stronger in emotional and spirit. Whhoooops.!

It's a great exchange.!

Always pray that my beloved baby will get to know God one day.

Cause i know, if only she got to know God. All the stupid fears and stuff will leave her forever.!

And only God is the one that have the power to build her up into a stage that she will no longer worry,fear and stuff.

Never know bringing someone to the truth is so hard and tough job. But I'll never give up loving her like what God has done in my life.

I'm sorry for stressing you sometimes. Sorry.!!

I'm in the wrong for getting worry of you that you might forever stay in this comfort zone.

Cause i know, If i started to worry. Means I'm doubting God's work on you. And i shall pray and keep on loving you. :)

It's all by God's work to brought a person to Christ but not by man made.

SORRY. :P

Pass is already stated as a pass.

Once i got ready to accept this relationship started.

I'd already told myself that I'll put in my best afford to build this wonderful relationship.

Doubting me at times is right. Cause we're just a human.

We need assurance. And i promise. I'll always give you the best assure.:D

I'm sorry if i had make you upset at times. forgive me.

I don't mean it.

My baby girl, I'll always be there helping you to walk through every problems you encountered.

Will not look down on you. Will never. Cause I'm already the most down person. Will only look up to you.:D

In future, I'm really glad and please that you'll still share your problems with me and seeking me for helps. at least i feel that i had done something la... LOL

After all those thinking of mine. I really thank God. Thank God for building me up 3years ago for my endurance and every wise decision we've done and made.

Was wondering. If i never get to know him. Today my cute cry babygirl would suffered from cried to death. LOLS.

Iloveyou. Always, It's true.

A little post.

2011-03-29T12:52:00.002-07:00

Was kinda getting more and more busy in life.

Need to work and keep upgrading myself in this competitive world.

But no matter how tired. I think i need to finish this blog once again for my girl.

Life is full of problems. Begin hurts, begin unfair, begin phobia of.

I face it every single bits of that. and i believe everyone's in the earth have been facing it too.

In the pass. When i always got to these kind of problems. I'll fight it hard to get what i should get.

After so many of experience, lecturing and teaching.

I'd finally got into a conclusion.

The amount of energy wasted is 100folds what i had gain.

Why not i just sit down and think of some other better and positive way to walk things out instead keep on stacking in the situation that had already bring me loses.

Is pride matter really that important for me? I don't think so.

Yea, people may remember me in that sec. But all those will be noted as a pass.

Recently keep got into sickness.

Is getting weak in body and stronger in emotional and spirit. Whhoooops.!

It's a great exchange.!

Always pray that my beloved baby will get to know God one day.

Cause i know, if only she got to know God. All the stupid fears and stuff will leave her forever.!

And only God is the one that have the power to build her up into a stage that she will no longer worry,fear and stuff.

Never know bringing someone to the truth is so hard and tough job. But I'll never give up loving her like what God has done in my life.

I'm sorry for stressing you sometimes. Sorry.!!

I'm in the wrong for getting worry of you that you might forever stay in this comfort zone.

Cause i know, If i started to worry. Means I'm doubting God's work on you. And i shall pray and keep on loving you. :)

It's all by God's work to brought a person to Christ but not by man made.

SORRY. :P

Pass is already stated as a pass.

Once i got ready to accept this relationship started.

I'd already told myself that I'll put in my best afford to build this wonderful relationship.

Doubting me at times is right. Cause we're just a human.

We need assurance. And i promise. I'll always give you the best assure.:D

I'm sorry if i had make you upset at times. forgive me.

I don't mean it.

My baby girl, I'll always be there helping you to walk through every problems you encountered.

Will not look down on you. Will never. Cause I'm already the most down person. Will only look up to you.:D

In future, I'm really glad and please that you'll still share your problems with me and seeking me for helps. at least i feel that i had done something la... LOL

After all those thinking of mine. I really thank God. Thank God for building me up 3years ago for my endurance and every wise decision we've done and made.

Was wondering. If i never get to know him. Today my cute cry babygirl would suffered from cried to death. LOLS.

Iloveyou. Always, It's true.

A little post.

2011-03-29T12:52:00.001-07:00

Was kinda getting more and more busy in life.

Need to work and keep upgrading myself in this competitive world.

But no matter how tired. I think i need to finish this blog once again for my girl.

Life is full of problems. Begin hurts, begin unfair, begin phobia of.

I face it every single bits of that. and i believe everyone's in the earth have been facing it too.

In the pass. When i always got to these kind of problems. I'll fight it hard to get what i should get.

After so many of experience, lecturing and teaching.

I'd finally got into a conclusion.

The amount of energy wasted is 100folds what i had gain.

Why not i just sit down and think of some other better and positive way to walk things out instead keep on stacking in the situation that had already bring me loses.

Is pride matter really that important for me? I don't think so.

Yea, people may remember me in that sec. But all those will be noted as a pass.

Recently keep got into sickness.

Is getting weak in body and stronger in emotional and spirit. Whhoooops.!

It's a great exchange.!

Always pray that my beloved baby will get to know God one day.

Cause i know, if only she got to know God. All the stupid fears and stuff will leave her forever.!

And only God is the one that have the power to build her up into a stage that she will no longer worry,fear and stuff.

Never know bringing someone to the truth is so hard and tough job. But I'll never give up loving her like what God has done in my life.

I'm sorry for stressing you sometimes. Sorry.!!

I'm in the wrong for getting worry of you that you might forever stay in this comfort zone.

Cause i know, If i started to worry. Means I'm doubting God's work on you. And i shall pray and keep on loving you. :)

It's all by God's work to brought a person to Christ but not by man made.

SORRY. :P

Pass is already stated as a pass.

Once i got ready to accept this relationship started.

I'd already told myself that I'll put in my best afford to build this wonderful relationship.

Doubting me at times is right. Cause we're just a human.

We need assurance. And i promise. I'll always give you the best assure.:D

I'm sorry if i had make you upset at times. forgive me.

I don't mean it.

My baby girl, I'll always be there helping you to walk through every problems you encountered.

Will not look down on you. Will never. Cause I'm already the most down person. Will only look up to you.:D

In future, I'm really glad and please that you'll still share your problems with me and seeking me for helps. at least i feel that i had done something la... LOL

After all those thinking of mine. I really thank God. Thank God for building me up 3years ago for my endurance and every wise decision we've done and made.

Was wondering. If i never get to know him. Today my cute cry babygirl would suffered from cried to death. LOLS.

Iloveyou. Always, It's true.

A little post.

2011-03-29T12:52:00.000-07:00

First and Last post for you.

2010-11-05T14:24:00.001-07:00

Today was her birthday.

Done all I can for her.:) (who knows?)

Agree, Some people may be saying I'm stupid now.

But did You ever know the love for You?

Just notice why I'm always stack in this problem.

Because I keep on thinking that i had not done enough.

Till today. I'm very clear what I had done to you.

I did't own you anything, Did't ever.

In my mind. You're always that good.

Till today, I notice.

Actually I'm not that important to you even as a friend.

What i did, I always think for you. What about you?!! Treating me as a shit?!

Seriously.

Don't because just a fucking guy ever hurt You means You can judge the whole entire guy that will do the same thing to You.

If this is your thinking.

I'm damn pity for you.

Because you really don't know what is love till now.

The feeling towards you is utterly disappointed.

Maybe what You done to me can help you in Your distress.

But do you think it's fair?!

Fling around izzit that cool for You?

Did't You have the sense of guilt?

Can't imagine You can tell me I love you when Your heart is still thinking others.

Do I look like the person?!

Seriously, After so many things happen.

Your vision in my eyes is getting more and more blur.

Till now, I really admit.

I did't know You well before.

Maybe to You. Relationship is just ever a joke for You.

You're seeking more hurts then love.

You make me feel that you are never ever been love before.

And yet, I'm trying all i can to fill your empty heart.

But you?! You're just using me as a healing fountain to get into better part of Your life.

Maybe all the while I was too naive that you'll return one day.

All the while before i do any decision i will think izzit best for you in your life.

But what about you? You keep hang me in the middle of the sky.

Just like a kite without the string did you notice?

And yea.

Everything is my wrong.

1st.I'm in the wrong to fought with someone you like.

2nd.I'm in the wrong to get some food and send over to your place.

3rd.I'm in the wrong for caring you that much.

4th.I'm in the wrong for worrying you.

5th.I'm in the wrong for messaging you.

6th.I'm in the wrong for knowing your good sister.

7th.I'm in the wrong for missing you.

8th.I'm in the wrong for doing something for you.

9th.I'm in the wrong for irritating you.

10th.I'm in the wrong for paranoid over you.

11th.I'm in the wrong for wanting to meet you.

12th.I'm in the wrong for pressuring you.

13th.I'm in the wrong for sweet talking to you.

14th.I'm in the wrong for wanting to meet you.

15th.I'm in the wrong for meeting you.

16th.I'm in the wrong for saying you.

17th.I'm in the wrong for commenting in your facebook.

18th.I'm in the wrong for saying your friends.

19th.I'm in the wrong for sharing my feelings with you.

20th.I'm in the wrong for concerning you.

21st.I'm in the wrong for defensing for you.

Did You ever think why I'll do all those thing?!

If all this thing make You so unhappy in your life, What for i stay?

Seriously, I found no value in you're life now.:)

I buy something to surprise someone hoping that she may have a blessed meal without walking to buy.

What i got?

A call from another guy.

Asking me what the fuck i want now?

I asked him. Do you have any problem?

Then she say I finding her friend fault.:) (Y)

At the point seriously I really don't understand what is love anymore.:)

Teach me. how to reply her friend?!

Saying, No eh brother. I'm very sad ma. Trying to win her heart. Worry she hungry?

Cannot be? He's someone i don't even know?!

First place.

Where He got my number.?

Sad enough to guess the answer?

Peeps that know me well enough know I won't get into problems for no reason.

That time I was just thinking. Right here I'm trying to be a Good person.

Yet there are always this kind of test.

God.

Seriously, You know I'll always fail this test. Don't test me with this will you?!

OK, never mind.

After everyone had scold me that I'm stupid enough.

I even scold them.

Maybe this is when everyone saying me stubborn enough.

I did't care. Just want to love you.

But afterall what did i get?!!

scolding from peeps.

I messaging you. trying to make you happy.

And my outcome is irritating?!!

I even said sorry to make things clear.

But all i got is what?!

I try all ways trying to know how are you doing.

End up?!!

you're thinking I'm honging your good friend?!

Izzit fair to your friend and me seriously?!

And you kick me like a soccer ball to your friend?

I'm upset. And showing everyone attitude. Who care?

Who the love that got hurt?

My family. Those who love me.?!!

what is those craps I'm doing? For who?

Me myself?!

A very Sorry to those who are trying to pull me up in my life.:)

Disappointed in me that time right?:P

When I'm most down.

Who're there??!!

What are you doing?

What are you thinking?

I'm knocking at your heart asking you for a return.

What you told me?

what you told others?:)

What's your aspect of love?
Izzit this way?!

I've been trying hard to maintain a friendship for you and me.

But what are you treating me as?

Pieces of shit?

Even try ask everyone how to hold this friendship back.

Even research on google's.

People that seeing this post may be laughing at me saying I'm stupid or whatever fuck.

Or seeing it lame.

Please fuck off from my life if You guys want to take this post as a joke._|_

Till today.

I used all my saving to get something for you unconditionally.

What are you thinking again?

Flings?!:)

I'm awake from this now. If all i did make you treat me this way.

Serve me right then.

If all i ever did for you is just to get all this back from you then a friend.

Then I'll tell you.

I'm in the wrong for loving you.

I'm in the wrong for knowing you.

I'm in the wrong for doing all this for you.

Bryan's Lim

Up and down

2010-10-14T12:18:00.000-07:00

Ok, It's been freaking long since my last blog.:)

Ermmmm.

recently was kinda upset for alot of things.

but now was not so.(hopefully)

Pass few days i was busy packing my emotional stuff.

Party party party party,

Drinking drinking drinking drinking.

Actually guys. I don't really like to drink as most of my close friend know..

But seriously, this few days i really learn alot of things.

Knowing we can't really say things too early.

It's a biggest mistake in my life..

In my most down time. I wanted to find someone to cry out.

But some friend was not the one i wanted..

really thanks a good brother of mine.XIONGYUN!.

He really did alot things for me. Helping me to stand up again.

Although i am not really happy with who am i now.

But no choice, life still need to move. days still need to pass.

The saddest things i think is that went i face someone i love most.:((

and yet my parent is in oversea..

I notice something on. Always went my parent is in oversea.

problems will come into my life.

Is just like a nightmare.

Ok, Where should i start my story.?

Ermmmmmmm.

Ok, i attended my good friend birthday.

i knew someone important i my life.

before i carry on. I need to admit I was just a flirter before that.:)

Maybe is just karma. Just kidding.! i don't believe in this shit.

So i knew someone and she's a really nice person.

Guys. do you believe in first slight?! Now i believe it.:)

After knowing a girl. My whole life just change this way.
Seriously never regret knowing her.

Whatever need to come. it will come one day.:)

All the times we were together i believe is my most happiest moment with someone on earth..

You know in my life there's only a girl i fall for this feeling.?!

But slowly things goes wrong for no reason.

Skip this part.:P

After that i really experience a second of emotional change.

On oct 1, 5pm i departed from the last prettiest side of her.

On the same date. at 6pm. I feel my whole life like shit.

Guess how power she can ever impact my life..

HMmmmmMs,

Ok, now.

Lets talk about my birthday.

Was celebrated at ginza sunday Oct 10.

Thanks to Mingshien(kor),Sharon(ah SOoo),XiongYun,Weikang,Chinyi.

Seriously i got a quite upset birthday yea.

Was full of angle.

Thinking, i did so much in my pass 20's this is what i got.

Hahas. but who cares! It's alright.

At least i got my close brothers with me.:)

Was kinda enjoy.

And on my actual birthday i seriously spend the whole day at home using comp.

But really thanks to someone. Suddenly a person called.

And she wanted to cook something for my birthday.

I was like. ohhh ok!!

so we went to get some ingredient and start to mess up my house.(went i'm a person that seldom clean my place.)

So i called my brother and tell him I'm cooking for him. Guess what he reply.-.-

*you cook uh? then i think i go buy better.*

LOLS.

So after all i had a simple and easy birthday spend with her.

And i'll remember.

Squeezing pimples is freaking pain!

Thanks to rena Ong.:)

But I'm sorry. my heart is still thinking of someone even though you try to cheers me up.

She's all i want went my birthday.

But she did't turn up.:)

Ok.Skip!

Yesterday! Powerhouse! Whoops.!

Is my last fever night i guess from now.

Was dancing all the way podium.:)

suddenly just a girl came and ask to lend light stick.

And she's freaking good at it!

Had a great day tecktonik-ing!

Suddenly i fall in love with dancing can..

Hahas. so after that home sweet home.

And now. finally my dad and mum is back from hongkong and china!:)

They brought me a pair of shoe, a wallet and 2 shirts.:D

thanks!<3

Ok, should close if with a nice story i saw.

I when to lucky plaza to meet my friend.

Which is his shop.

Their customer service is the worst i ever saw.

Look on how they talk to customer.:)

1st:

Customer walk in.

Shop owner: ehhh!! oi, oi lan pa. look here la.

Customer: Ermm, hello. may i know how much is I phone 4 32gb?

Shop owner: Errrrr, $900!!

Customer: Wow, is expensive.

Shop owner: ehhh! you got sleep or never sleep?!! 900 expensive?! then you go 7-11 buy. there very cheap.

Customer walk away..

Come in after 10mins...

And ask the same question on another staff.

Staff : i though my friend tell you the price already?! you ask him again la.

Shop owner: eh! lan pa. this is your 3rd time asking already..

Customer: but but the other shop selling 700!

Shop owner: You know what? the one must suck one time you know?! you want suck ar.?

Customer: No comment.

Shop owner: Then why they sell 700 you don't buy?!

Customer: No comment.

Shop owner: then you lanpa already la( pointing middle finger)

Customer just walk away.

There's alot story more. but it's late now. gonna sleep.

hope you enjoy reading.!<3

ilovestyleiloveyouiloveGodilovefunilovemyself

2010-05-20T10:03:00.000-07:00

lols ...

this few days was great .

but i feel abit weired of me .

cause my shopping spree was on non stop .

i suddenly treasure my life so much .

i just wanna live in a feel free life .

nothing to worry , nothing to troubled .

cause i feel that trouble is a day , happy is a day .

so what the benefit or worrying and sad everyday ?

recently , i spend alot money in cloths .

i brought two pants , one jeans , one shirt , one belt and a shoe ..

full set yea ?

i feel that there is a word quite true .

went we was young , we act as a man .

but went we are old , we act young .

LOLS

alot alot of things happen ..

but all is happy moments ..:D

ok , just share some big news .

On 1st may , i got into a bike accident at SLE mandai .

was at power house with caleb , jeffery , junjia , weijian , weixiang .

was kind of fun .

due to i was going to NS .

so the feeling of me is like ..

i want to play !

but did't notice ..i get into a bike accident after st.james power house .

was kind of lost memory after the clash .

just remember went i woke up .

i saw a lady fanning me asking

"boi boi , are you ok ?"

"just rest here , the ambulance in reaching"

guess what .

i straight away stand up and walk to caleb's and tell him lets talk cab home .

LOL .

was kind of lost already .

thinking nothing much happen to me .

just know that went the accident happen .

i was like forget everything .

is a nightmare for me i guess .

all my heart is just thinking my family , God and friends .

i felt that the death gate is near to me on that moment .

but i really thank God ,i manage to survive for now .

think is really my extra time for now .

i can't believe we was like on a speed of 140/km per/h and got into a clash .

and now i still can be sitting here posting my blog .

even went i heard that the bike was scarab .

my heart is like thank God for his love .

can you imagine even metal is destroyed and my body doesn't .

so now ,

look what i got .

hahas .. cool ?

ok , followed up ,

2 days after .

i was suppose to go report for my enlistment which is on 3rd may .

guess what , i was asked to send home .

they told me i need to rest after the bike accident .

and i told them just give me 3 days time .

and even told them i was to be enlisted .

they insisted not to let me stay .

instead they gave me 3months time to rest and even drop my pes to pes "D"

what the hell .

i was hoping i can be maintain in pes "A"

but everything just change for what i planned .

and from there , i really learn something great .

i can't plan too much for my life .

cause i need to trust the one who panning all the way of my life .

and my plan is always not better then the one who plan for me .

so after sending me home .

i was like , man .

what should i do for this 3 months ?

am i suppose to really rest and rot for this 3 months without any income ?

if that's it , i think i will be suffered and will send to IMH .

LOLS .

So , i decided to reject all the pain .

and start running out here and there ..:D

so guess what i did after the next day ?

let's see .

cool ?

hahas .

one thing i'm happy .

i can celebrate brother b'dae with her .:D

can you imagine a pai ka went to kite flying ?

serious , i love kite flying alot .don't know why .

i think is my first time in the age of 20 .

was relax kind of relax .! :D

i hope one day i can go kite flying again ..

seeing my kite soring high in the sky make me feel good .

but too bad :(

can't share the photo with you guys .

cause i don't have any photo .

AND HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY XIAO'EN !!!

ok , move on .

next , sending my half mum to oversea .

and same date , yong qi's birhtday .

was kind of good even not too good .

i just love the moment spending with you .

i just wanted to treasure every min .

i just wanted to stay happy every sec .

i just wanted to control my emotion then getting control .

so , was kind of fun . but walk alot alot alot .

but , i likeeeee ~

was kind of miss my half mum uh .

but don't worry , i know she miss me .:D

hahs .

ok , sharing time .

hahas .

ok ,

many things happen .

on 9th may , me and family get to share testimony at FU MAN LOU singapore expo

hahas .sharing how God love's us .

and it's a mother day launch .:D

praise God .

after that went out with shaun and ash

was kind of enjoy .

we talk alot alot of stuff out .

and we went for a movie .

iron man 2 i guess .

was sleeping for half of the show .

guess i'm not sleeping .

cause i was so unlucky that i was place beside a person that have a very very bad "B.O"

man .

is like faint for half of the show i guess .

i never once in my life got into this before and it's my first time .

was kind of sian 1/2 .

was thinking , i got a clash and bang my head .

and now i'm sitting beside the person that have a bad "B.O"

izzit what this called use poison cure poison ?LOL

and recently i went shopping with shaun .

actually should not be us only .

but just suddenly ashely got into some moodswing then go back half way .

so me and shaun continue to walk around singapore .

but think all along he is like accompany me for shopping helping me carry stuff .-.-

i finally got to buy a belt at AX .which cost me 140 and yet i told my dad is only 70bucks ..

half price uh !..LOL

have a great day through .

i was accompanied by ashley and shaun for my leg appointment .

then went to clark quay .

then went to bugis .

then orhard .

a real tired day .

thanks shaun and ash .

just read my old cbox .

was kind of promise my nuer cunzhi posting about her .

recently i met her .

and get a chance to slack with her .

lols

but she still never change .-.-

only thing that i know she change is a bf .LOL

and recently i get to met a old friend .

"rena ong wu gui"

she accompanied me once for my leg treatment .

power ar .

and was slacking with her and my brother and sharon talking about dog's whole day .

i like dog !.:D

ok , and today was a real busy day .

asked for a morning call .2person .

but all failed .

LOL .

ask brother call me at 11.30am .she call me at 1.30pm

think she abit blur went i ask her to wake me up .

hahas .

went for leg treatment alone .

and eat .guess what .the soup spill on me .and it take me 30min to wash before eat .

and went to bugis for interview .

see izzit God's will anot .:D

and rush all the way back to woodlands to meet huiwen's

she was late .-.-

but nevermind .

i went cotton on myself to shop .LOL~!

and got a shirt for myself .

and now .became they are waiting for me .

went down cck with hongxiang's and huiwen's

was kind of lost .so we took a cab .

and there goes .

the house was mess up .

and the kitchen is full of smoke .

but overall .good job guys .

thanks for the food preparing .:D

went to eat and celebrate rina birthday .

the food was nice .cause it was cook with love .

was kind of enjoy overall .

get a good time to share with shaun about God under sw block .

can see he was touch .

was sharing about full healing and the power of cross .

thank God .God want us to share sometime/most of the time .

and after that while going home from mrt .

got a chance to share with rina and yong qi about practicing the love of God through us .

praise God , is a real blessed day .

ok .

gonna rest .

believe on the truth , but don't believe on the facts .

be myself is always better acting to be someone

2010-04-27T02:56:00.000-07:00

Yeahhs .
kind of bored now .
so
bloggggggggggggg .

i just notice that God don't want me just try to change to a better person .
but he want my pass to die .
trying hard to change will never change a person .
but only must reach the end of life .
then the person will change .
sounds hard .
but i will do it in my life .
God want me not to change .
but my nature and person must be a new one .
new creation , but not change .
hahas .

hmmmms .
this few days i feel i am so disobey .
why ?
i slept at 5am the morning .
do everything i like .
lol
i need to change before going into ns .
i suddenly notice that i still got manything haven done yet
awwwwww .
ermmmmm .

GOOD FREINDS , ONE IS MORE THEN ENOUGHT

2010-04-18T10:33:00.000-07:00

Ok
recently there is good there is bad .
bad things is bad news .
my good friend got caught again yet he have tagging .
was kind of lost that the person he helped shoot him out .
and there goes human .
every time friends need help .
we help .
back many times friend are not grateful went you help them .
thinking is a must help cases .
but who care ?
many people think that friend is meant for use .
that's why human heart is getting cold .
just like what i am feeling .
when you are happy , you won't call me saying "hey , i am happy today , have you eaten ?come find me, i treat you ."
NO !
is always "hey bro , can you come down help me ?i got some problem here i can't solve .i need you here to settle for me ."
YES !
and this is not the worst .
worst is after you help them ,
they got into problem .
they will try all the best to protect themself by covering and point all fingers at you saying " i don't know .i just follow him here , and he is the one who planned all this ."
why are there so many people out there ?
SO what am i thinking now ?
you can help the whole world as your friend .
but finding a real friend maybe is only one .
you can do anything for your friend .
but doesn't mean that your friend can do something for you .

ok , this few days keep going out late .
clubbing , accompany friend , slacking .
life now is like waiting to die .
LOLS .
14 more days to my NS .
excited .
my life is moving on to the next stage .
a stage of learning new stuff .
a stage of seeing more kinds of people .
a stage of growing to be independent .
a stage of becoming a real man .
No more staying in this comfort zone .:(
i gonna miss my friend alot .
of course my family too .
many things i still can't let go .
but hope i can let go inside my NS time ..:D

Today
i got to see something i don't like .
which is daring cases .
i gonna teach the guy not to do this again .
seems stupid .
but i still do it .
many things happen .
but i still can laugh like no tomorrow .
sleep like no tomorrow .
joke like no tomorrow .
because i know .
happy also a day .
sad also a day .
i got a choice to stay happy .
why not ?!
and i notice ..actually i still got alot of good friends around me .
i am still not so lonely .
thinking like last time , emoing about new friends .
keep on thinking i give in so much yet i still treat like a stranger or left behind .
WRONG .
IT'S negative thoughts !
no one owned me a friendship .
no one owned me a accompany too .:)
i got alot of choice .
choices of picking up friends .
choices of meeting friends .
choices of trusting and not trusting friends .
choices of treating friends .
and i know ,i am not gonna emo or sad for any friend again .
i am gonna stay happy happy happy .:D
Today church was good .
quite guilty the whole day .
Sorry God .
You know .
I know .
I can't .
I did .
I promise .
I got a reason .
But i know you won't want me to have the reason .
i disobey .
I will do better next time .
I promise you .
Thank you for the love you have for me .
Through the love .
You always make held me up .
You know how much i enjoy your love .
I know how much you love me .
Thanks .!

G'nights !

good bye bryan

2010-04-11T10:42:00.000-07:00

that a word said
" you won't treasure till it's lost "
use to be love by people .
but for 1 year i am trying to treasure surrounding means to love then begin love
it's really tough .
but i don't want to give up .
but i just want to bless your happiness .
hope that i can forget everything .
then you will be much more happy ...
ok
about change .
i am going to be abit more selfish .:P
to begin love than trying to love .
:D
i don't know where i got the power from .
i can even tell her i bless you yet i am upset .
hahas ..but for good i must do this .
i want to live in a place that everybody smile cause of me than up cause of me .
hahas
ok , now i only hope that the guy is not the one i not wish to .
if not i will break again .
but nevermind , who cares ...
hahas :)

anybody can accompany ?
O.o

i'm not giving up .
i just want you to be happy .
i think over and over again , if i'm happy and you are not .
what for what for what for ?
so the only choice is to leave you alone .
but when i letting you go .
i am scare .
i scare you will not take care of yourself well .
so promise me baby will you .?
not to upset by fool .
don't ever do stupid things .
don't ever be so silly .
don't ever feel alone .
don't ever hurt yourself .
don't ever blame things on yourself .
don't ever think that you are not good enough .
don't ever think that you are not nice enough .
cause there is someone caring you .
and that's me :)

ok , wild wild wet trip was good if i look on positive side .
cause really enjoy taking rides and seeing everyone laughing .
but on negative side is not that good ..
causeeeeeee
i got mood swing too .
was abit angry or upset .
hahas .
i was drowning my head .
and guess , got one person came to me and quickly pull me up thinking i am drown ..
wahahas ..
and i smile at him and he told me sorry , i thought you are drown .LOL

today church was great .
straight and kena .
thanks to pastor and my dad .
after that went to causeway and timezone .
then i notice i m over spending .
it take me 2 day to spend 150 bucks .
i did not brought anything .
but i don't know where it goes ..
maybe too happy, didn't notice .
from april 31st till now .
i calculated , I had already spend around 500 bucks .
i still left with so many bills to settled .
how am i going to survive to my Ns which is at may 3rd ?
it's time to pray .
use my money wise .
i am gonna use brain to find some money for saving .!:P
cause if this carry on , golden hill also not enough to spend for me .:)
i shall set a target .
by july , i must get my own hard earn $2000 for my saving .
i' m getting older .5-15 years down the road i will have a own family .
it's time to save save save .
haha .

yeahs , was really enjoy the time at timezone ..:D
seeing everyone laughing out loud although abit Ps .
but the happiness can't be describe .

and yeah ,
just finish my 2.4km run .
i take 12min to finish my run .
MAN !
i am gonna do it 9min flat before may !

k G'nights !

break your heart .

2010-04-06T09:19:00.000-07:00

Woah Woah

Now listen to me baby
Before i love and leave you
They call me heart breaker
I don't wanna decieve you

If you fall for me
I'm not easy to please
I'mma tear you apart
Told you from the start, baby from the start.

I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart. (x4)

Now listen to me baby
Before i love and leave you
They call me heart breaker
I don't wanna decieve you

If you fall for me
I'm not easy to please
I'mma tear you apart
Told you from the start, baby from the start.

I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart. (x4)

Woah woah

Theres not point trying to hide it
No point trying to erase me
I know i got a problem
By doing this behavour

If you fall for me
I'm not easy to please
I'mma tear you apart
Told you from the start, baby from the start.

I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart. (x4)

The last word .

2010-04-05T11:38:00.000-07:00

why the last word always make me love you more ?
today was a working day .
fought with 3 person at work ..
was kind of stupid person this world have .
1st .car just dash in to VIP place without holding any VIP car went i am stopping .
i stare at him and took out my phone to took his car picture .
he went and park his car and walk back to me .
asking me "are your sure the van and lorry also a VIP member ?"
i told him . don't judge people my outside sir of course he is !
he said the same thing like loser 2 said .
every guard let me in only YOU don't
i told him , do you know is very rude to dash in this way loser ?
he told me is ok .
i suddenly got heat up and tell him .
ok just park and i don't know what will happen to your car later on .
LOLS .he thought i will do anything to his car .
and he tell me anything he will find for me to be responsible for his car.
i told him sure .i will report to the management and get your car ban !
he straight away walk away speechless ..LOLS !
LOSER kiss my feet !

2nd .car without member trying to act they have one .LOSER!
was said by him . every guard let me in only YOU don't .
i told him
sir , my name is bryan lim .you can go feedback about me .
guess what he say ?
"what lan jiao you talking"
LOLS .gangster ehhs .
was waiting him to get down of the car .
thank God , his wife fast say sorry and drove off .
why can't he just talk politely at first and i will be kind enough to help him in ?
LOSER 2

3rd .almost fight with a member cause he say what i doing is rude and yet i am following instruction
stupid right ?
ask me ask the my boss out . then went i took out phone and call he just change topic .-.- LOSE 3

btw , today was not a very good day .
0% at first .
i am totally wrong in myself .
always wanna love someone first .
thinking of challenging is fun .
now .
i am deep lose !
knowing that went i start to love someone .
i had already lose 90% .
maybe open up letting people love i much better .
muahahas .
i will do my part well this time .
27th more day to ns !
hope will have a new fresh life ahead .
maybe friend is right .
use this chances !!!
new everything .
place those f up stupid things behind !
:D

blessed but sad day .
PTL still .

werid feelings

2010-04-04T10:11:00.000-07:00

Why i found that the more i love her the more i can't let go of her ?
O.o
It's late .
That's the reason i am fear of loving someone ?
did my love have any loop hole ?
the more i love a person .
once he/she don't trust or doubting me .
i will always have the feeling rise .
God
Is God teaching me something from this ?
I feel so sorry to God the times i still doubt and not really put in full trust in him .
the feeling is unstoppable .
i do love her more and more i admit .
she stolen part of my life !!!
is the right or not right ?

ok
yesterday was a risk day of mine .
i tried all sort of reason to fight for the good .
no one may understand what i feel doing this .
but since i did
i should face it .
just know that i just need to do what i needed to do without any others knowing ?
prayed hard and thank God my dad didn't question me more .
i want her to remain good images in my dad .
not because i am hiding .
i want both .
but always need someone to understand .
i love both .
but who can understand ?
:)

today was great day ..
kingdom of God is growing bigger and bigger .
PTL
went to swim at sembawang park .
was kind of abit emotional .
why ?!!!!

Remembered what pastor Don preach .
desire and faith is include in prayer and miracle will happen .
God pour blessing without you loving him or not .
but is the matter of knowing how much you know he love you .
COOL .
PTL!

ashley's requested granted

2010-03-29T09:05:00.000-07:00

Updated .:D

Was working and working and working ..
It's really very long since i last blog .
in the time , there and sadness , happiness moment ..
sadness moment i had already forget all ..
(didn't even want to recall)
happiness moment of course i remembered all ..:D

OK .
just write about this few days ..
i had lost faith in work .
social work may be dark ..
can see many kind of humans heart .
some may treat you well in front .
but behind they are trying you shoot arrow to make you down .
some like to compare .
some may treat you not so good .
but they are really a nice person you ever met .
some are irresponsible in their work .
some taken for granted went you are helping them .
some may like to disturb and joke around went working .(me :D)
some may like to over react went things is small .
i feel shit went i can't forgive people that treat me like shit .
but how to ? this is me ?
i know i am working in the name of God .
but many time i just fail God .
i use to treat people that treat me bad like shit .
i'm sorry .

I just notice that all the way i am like the slave of money ..-.-
i worked so hard and gain nothing .
is this what we called the human strength ?

Recently i think i fall for a girl that i didn't ever think of .
she knows and no one knows ...SHHHHH !!!:P
she look bad , but she knows .
she acts fierce , but she cares .
she think much , but is right .
HAHAS ! stop this topic ..:D
For me , there are no condemn person .
there are only person that haven show out there unique .

Days are counting down . left a month of freedom .
can't do much things for now .
just try my best and treasure every min .
hahas , like gong die yea ?LOLS .!

recently i was quite happy .
cause i know God is always there for me .:D
and still i taste the sweetness of God ..

ok , i shall ask a question before i end :P

1st question : there is a thing that we know it will have .
but we will never have . you only can keep waiting .
2nd question :it's always there , even where you go where you run how you waited how you which it to go .it will still be there .you only can face it .
3rd question : you hope it would be always with you .but it will not .it go very very fast till you can't hold it .you tried everything just to hold .but still can't .you only can say goodbye .

Hahas
Gonna rest !
PRAISE GOD !

This is how God love me.

2009-09-10T23:50:00.000-07:00

God, Thanks for reminding me sometime i got problem THEN i will find you.

But, when you lifed me up.i fly like eagle.

But, when i started to fly, i always forget the one that is always there for me went i face problems.

father, thank you for teaching me this great lesson.

i know it's hurt to see someone you love so much and went you life him up.

HE FORGET YOU!

Sorry.

Father, i once though that your new command you give me:Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.(John 13: 34-35)

i once though that we must love one another, so if he/she sin.i must keep quite and keep loving her. If he or she do things that not from God or do things that are evil through heart i must still keep support them.(because i scare they will leave you)

But today, i learned.the love is not the world love,it's the spiritual love of yours.

not that the person speak out satan words and i will keep giving him/her support.

not the person that stumble God work.

not the person that don't admit their sin.

not the person that took God love as granted.

but i must reject them cause thier heart still not for you.Once someone is against you.

i must reject and tell or teach them.and this is the love that he/she won't be in hell in the end time.(love thier souls but not love the satan inside them)

Win back their souls to God.

Not follow their Satan to sin.

Love the person does't means you had to cover up for him/her.

No matter what, God love everyone.

But if we choose to reject him.And deline he died for you.

He his grace will not be there for you till you are back.

for he so love you that he punish you.

(Don't let sin be a partition of God)

Thank you Jesus.:D

The words from you everyday fills my soul.

I Obey.

God Bless.

ILoveYou

A reconfession

2009-09-10T10:07:00.000-07:00

Notice this curse is still in me ..

went i started to like you ..

you will always had a bad respond to me .

Just like the 6 years before ..

Sorry God, i notice till now i haven give you a 1oo%.

i still hold 11% of myself and the habit i like.

10% of the one i like.

10% on my family.

10% on church.

10% on friends and brother.

and 49% on God.

altought you are greatest ..

But all those i added up is already 51%

and means,51% my heart is not for you...

thank you father for teaching me today about 1oo%

not only i believe you i go church and baptism is a follower of you..

but is the relationship with you.

Sorry Jesus !

Thanks for teaching me..

In order to get the true happyness and blessing.

it's the matter of 1oo% or 49%

Father , i pray that you will forgive listen to your son crying out to you..

Father, i pray that you will give me strength again.

I pray in the name of Jesus, once i put down the 51%,

the curse will be broke!

Father i pray the all glory goes to you whenever i do good or right.

and it's not the matter of myself thinking i do this to show church or showing her.

Or showing my family , brother or friends.

but the matter or pleasing you.!

thank you for dying on the cross for me..

father, if it's your will..take of the temptation and hindering in my life.

Jesus name i pray.

Pobation End!!

2009-09-09T11:25:00.000-07:00

praise God..testing testing one two threee..~~
sorry, don't know what to post..LOL

A wake up call

2009-07-03T12:57:00.000-07:00

^this is the video shared on me^
Today i woke up at 1pm .
need to go for MCYS reporting.
was kind of shag,so wake up pack and stuff head to MCYS.
but, when i reach there, my officer did a very meaningful sharing.
showing me a video on those people that had more difficult life then us.
wow, its like really a wake up call for me.
knowing i can got to choose my meal everyday and why i am still so unsatisfied?
and those people can't got to choose their meal everyday.
yet, they are so happy when seeing their food place on the table.
and the food was those left over food.
But, i really know that, they are the happiest person in the whole world.
Knowing that they can had a meal at least.
i really need to wake up knowing that all i had is a big blessing from God.
alt ought they don't know their tomorrow is there any food ?
but, they really give thanks for what they had now.
And it really wakes me up knowing, we can get everything for our body.
a nice branded sport car?a nice giant big house with millions of maids?
but when we did not learn to get the true joy, its a waste of time.
can see, those kid don't have what we got, but they can earn one day.
but what they got, many people will seldom got.
And that is the happiest person in the world.
That money can't be brought.
So, thanks God!

Ok, after that i when to xiong mao house to wait him prepare and stuff and when to gym with Chinyi and Simon .Was really enjoying and laughing.
And finally, i got my very strong opponent doing more work out then me at gym..
was really happy there, after that, shi jie and ven came to meet us and stupid oily chicken came too.and i rush home after slacking awhile after gym due to going to my dear prayer meeting..was kind of restless after all..

Ok, the 2nd happiest things is, got to chat with Weikeong and found that, He is still not so bad then what i am thinking la.:D He still got to know what is wrong and what is right.Muahaha!
Alrights, a note for weikeong:
Brothers, i really happy knowing after you told me all stuff..and knowing you as brother should be a great thing in my life.After hearing what you said, i really found a very great joy in my heart. just like a lost sheep go back to his shepherd , its like so happy after knowing my brother is still fine.:D
Hope you will keep it up yea? Good Boy does not means must be very nerd. But its just be a kind heart guy ?hahax..I can feel you are very sad, but just to say, i really wanted to help you. I wanted to be by your side knowing that this brother here will be there with you.!so hope you will be happy soon arhs!
You can do it !:D

Happy seeing you all out !

2009-07-02T09:19:00.000-07:00

Ok , lets say about yesterday!the day that .
XiongYun,Chinyi,junkai,weikeong and weijian
came out!!!!
woots~!
finally after 18months!
got to see them and touch them again!
lols~!
Ok, morning .
meet up pastor leong for fetching xiongyun!
pastor leong wanted to go see how is xiongyun doing.
and so , we when down at the early morning
and was waiting for them to release.
WootS~!
so, finally i saw weikeong came out first!
Wahahahas.like been long time seem i last saw him
so kind of happy.but sad is , still some never get to change , and become more heavy gangster mindset.
Omg, i wanted to help them.i wanted to see them saved.!!
how?
and was very happy seeing all of them out at the time.
was kind of uncontrollable.
LOL!
after that, when to meet xiongyun they all downstair my house.
was talking about hows life and was laughing like nobody problem.
Wakakakahahas!!
and then, of course, when home for sure.
and by right i was got to meet up xiongyun and junkai 6am at near my house park for exercise.
but end up i slept at 4am, so can't join them for exercise.LOL
when i woke up today , i saw so many miss call..
the call that blast me up is from david.
was chatting hows life and stuff cause its been long time i never got to meet him.
so, chat for about an hour.
not bad uh , still remember me .:D
and then after the talk with him.
i got up and do my stuff and start cooking for my lauch.
was trying hard to bake the potato,
but i fail 2 times.
first time i cut the potato into half and just add some cheese and bacon on it and throw into to mircowave.but, end up .the cheese melted every where .and the potato was so soft like seems over cooked.
second time i cut into 4 piece and same , add some cheese and bakon on it and put inside oven and bake, and guess what , the potato haven cooked, the cheese was burned and so black.
i was like so sad after failing 2times.
the most sad things is, i still need to brush out the over cooked black cheese..
and this question stay on my head for very long, how to cook it?
thank God, i found a way next time, i will share how to cook bake potato with cheese and bakon.
due the cheese is too easy to cook, and potato is too hard to be cook.
mircowave cook potato will become soft, and oven cook will become crispy.
the next 3rd try i will cook my potato first at oven, and wait till is almost cook.
then i will throw all the little cheese and bakon ontop of the potota in order not for my cheese to be over cook and melt till every where.
LOL, clever me izzit ?!

ok, then after that i when to meet chinyi at khatib mrt.
was chatting about alot of things.
after that, i recieve simon call saying."why you say all me later you later took around 4h leh"
lols, cause i was sleeping when he call, and i forget.
so, he asked want to meet anot .
so me and chinyi when to meet him.
thank God, simon had changed to a better and well behave person then what we would not think.
after awhile, my korkor came join us.
chat and talking about many topic.
my call is trying to ask simon to relax and stop fighting everytime,
but he did't not know that he had been staying away from problem for around 2years i think.
was kind of joke.but good job kor!
after awhile, weilong came to join,
and slack around awhile then when for dinner at 807
then when home prepare to go song pratice at masiling.
then, suddenly. the stupid oily chicken at xiong yun house prank me on msn.
sorry for him, was by right meeting him, but end up did not get to see him today.
and tml i am going MCYS reporting at 3 and gym and need rush to prayer meeting.
Its packed!

God, i would like to pray for my friends that they would be save and know you one day.God, we know that evil won't last long.God, change them and let them seek for eternity happiness but not the short time of happy staying with each other, but the forever eternity !God, let them feel the love of you, so one day they will know that you are always there crying and knocking their doors to open to doors for you. God,i love them,cause i know, you love me and you love them.God, bring them to the stage that they might be able to saw you. God, bless them with your true peace and love.cause we know that human love include selfish and jealous and etc. and human love fails, but your love always never fails!
I pray in the name of Jesus!
And here goes: Amen!
Me and God love you truly : Xiongyun,chinyi,weikeong,junkai and weijian!

Happy , peacefull !

2009-06-24T10:53:00.000-07:00

Ok , decide to post something ..

Costa sand retreat!

last whole week was a paris chalet costa sand ..:D
was at church retreat for whole monday to friday ..
was very happy for everything ...although sometime still have some unhappyness .
but i thank God, i still love you all ..:D
was keep on swimming at chalet ..
and think this is the most meaningfull chalet i ever go ..
the past time chalet i go is sleep anytime , play anytime, talk anyhow, no meaning event.
now, its like...need to sleep by a time, work together hand in hand, sing together hand in hand, laugh together hand in hand, play together hand in hand...
i really need to be happy for what i got..
because those for that is God blessing !!!
i still remember a great worship there seeing everyone dancing to God
seeing everyone really got into the presence of God shouting to God(ILOVEYOU)
Muahahax....I really wanted to thank God for everything..
Thank God for the wonderful retreat of freedom in Christ ..
Thank God for a wonderful church mates ..
Thank God for a my family ..
Thank God for always be there by my side when no one understand ..
Thank God for helping me open my heart ..
Thank God for the approve for retreat ..
Woots , God is always so good yeaH?!!!

Before costa sand blessing

i wanted to share a blessing from God !
i finally got my New Handphone ...wakakakas!!!
thank got for taking away the hatred spirit in my heart ..
and now i learned how to love ..:D
Thank God .!

After costa sand blessing

i learned many things at the retreat ..
learned how to endure ..cause i know leave together as one is not as easy as what we think.:D
learned how to get closer to God ..
learned how to put down something heavy in my life ..
and a thing important is, learned how to leave everything behind and play first..!!!LOL
hahax ...monday still got caleb birthday party ..(also at costa sand) LOL.
Madness chalet event.!!LOL

Caleb birthday !!

Happy birthday caleb !!! wish you all the best and more spiritual grow from GOD!!!
18 years old already , must learn to really follow God k ?
Don't only keep wanted to play play play arhhhhs!!LOLs!!
btw , may God bless you!!love you brother , thanks for sometime there for me .:D

Today !!!

Woots , today nothing much happened..:D peacefully at home ..
woke up at around 11am by my mother .she cheat me!!!say go jogging, nowonly 7am..!!!
but when i wake up, i saw the sun shine shining to my backside ..!!LOLS..
she ask me to to 848 with her to eat lauch and buy some stuff ..
so, wake up bath and head to 848 with her to eat ..
at first , my mother saw the chicken feet like very nice ...buy liao eat, like kanasai!
LOL, then me and mum was saying , thank God , at least we know that next time we should not order this again ..LOL(we cannot only depend on the look).!!LOL
and after that, shijie called me for hair cutting ...!
ask me to cut botak for him ..
so he came and meet us at 848 there and shop .
after that , when home ..help him cut hair.
the first shave , i was scared ...because i see , its so deeply botak !!
then i faster shout mother to come help ..
so and now , he was name :Botak Jiao!
and after that , suddenly recive my dad call ..
asking me want to change speaker anot ..i of cause say want de lahhh!!
LOL , so he brought a speaker for me, and i love it, i love it not because the sound good, not because of its nice, but because its from my dad !!and ofcause its from God!
Woot !!!haha, was sharing with my mother, his few day really alot blessing till my both hand cannot take it all ..
first , computer , moniter , handphone , six new shirt , family enjoyment , internet changing on june 30th , xiongyun they come out at july 1st , father got his computer , father promise decorate my room , new cardbroad soon , seeing everyone laughing everyday ,church outing retreat , malaysia treat ,aunty mabel jack's place treat ,God taught alot lesson at me and many more !!!Woah !!i can't sleep liao ..things keep coming ,all i need is to open my hand and let God blessing flow am i right God ?I really wanted to thank you for my family ! really, just like seeing my dad standing at there preaching and teaching other then seeing hand cuffed homed by police..
thank God for the grace that my dad had been setted free .!!!
is this the prmise land God place me in ?
i really wanted to give God all the glory !!
if no him , i had nothing today just a broken family ..
i really tresure everyone alot ..
I LOVE YOU ALL!!AND YOU!

After so long, i finaily found out something ..
when we might able to fly again , satan will lie or give temptation to you asking you to carry things ..
but once you carry , the things will pull you downwards more then upwards..
even upwards , if we use own strength, we will still fall and tired.
when things go better , satan try to give you some thing you like, and careful, that thing may be a barden of urs ..but, if we use God love and just keep giving glory , Jesus name will be lifed high, and we shall not fall trought the name of Juses !!

woots ~

2009-06-08T18:19:00.000-07:00

still will read my blog lehhhs, not bad...
all those tears and struggle is for the past your..
that one that is lovely and good...
all those promise is meant for the past you...
the one that keep the promise well...
all those love is for the past you..
the one that treated me as someone in life and the one that is herself...
all those good me is for the past you..
the one that had been a good girl..
all those stupid me is for the past you..
the one that make my life colorful.
please understand, you change first and i change 2nd.
if i had never respect you, your life would not been at least so good..
and since when i never respect?
never mind, God knows and i know..
maybe i think, do somethings don't need everyone to know..
if what we do, we need everyone to know, there is no meaning in it...
but just wanted to say, all those promise will go to the day that the past of you..
but, not the now you...
okok, let talk bout today ...
yesterday sleep at 2.30am , was chatting with nu-er telling her my heart outs...
thanks God for hearing me,
thanks God that she told me one thing, "don't do stupid things, i don't want you end up inside"
i think so...
ya, i really want a peaceful life for now...
what should come, will come one day..
can't dought..
so, lets walk and see how it can be settled.
ok, wanted to said,"i see you no up" ...LOL(sorry for this English)

ok, and wake up by my father at 6.20am in the morning ,
ready and stuff,
when jogging with him early in the morning...
was fun..but he was slow...Opsss...LOL
then do some excise..
and when home bath, and meet my mother at khatib mac at 8am with my father..
when we at mac, was really fun and joke..
laughed through the whole breakfast.
cause i asked my father, what you want to eat, and he say anything..
so i order for him a small burger and me and my mum with a big burger plus egg..
then i told him same same...
then when come, my father blur blur,
said, which one is mine...
i point the small one to him..
and he take the big burger say, waaaaa...want to bully me ar..
i pay 10dallor eat the special want ar(special small) ..
i don't care...i going eat the big one, and go home i cook a egg give you back...
LoL, hard say all...but it was really funny..
whole family there laughing like mad a mac...
love my family man!
Muacks!
after that when to fairprice with my parents to shop for tonight cell group..
then brought many things...but i carry all..
my father carry a super small thing acting very heavy..LOL
cannot tahan him..
and when home together..:D
great start of the day...
and here goes i am sleepy...
sorry dad i can't accompany you to pen-tech.
ya, cause after my running, i almost fainted..
the feeling really scary..
whole body no strength, then feel like wanted to sleep like that..
when very giddy..
and even lao-sai ...
first time ever this feeling...
i think for now, i am too weak to go pen-tech with my dad..
so, slack at home play computer and sleep..:D
k,
takecare and godbless
love you.
Muacks,

Muahahahahas.

Dont know me .

2009-06-08T03:33:00.000-07:00

Maybe i found many people don't know me well ..
the promise is given to the pass you ..
not the person that now ..
you can screw me and try ..
its not the matter i scare you its the matter how much i respect you .
And think of yourself what you say too ..:)
talk no use .
as action speak louder then words .
maybe your screwing to those who love you will affect them.
to those who not ...nothing is include..
you who wanted the things end like this..
so do i respect it !!

its there any big deal that not together with me?
or its there any big deal that i will die if you are not?
don't think so, cause i will give no respect to those who want to change their life to such a stages..
ya, maybe the pass...
relationship with you to me is important, cause its the pass you..
but now, its no longer..because i can't believe the choice you choose..:D
Never regret doing such things..what i need to do, i had done...
what i need to said, i had said..
a pails of tears i also had cry through...
Happiness i also had gone thought...
loving with all my hearts i also had done through..
accompanying you through your hard time i also gone through..
now is maybe the time you will stayed happy for now.
what can i regret for?
Now,i remember a time that my grandmother died..
my father was telling me, Son, don't be sad if you had done your best..
because we had not own any regret...
we had done our best in those time she is alive...
and now, she is dead, sadness is for those who had guilty in the heart that never take good care of her when she is alive..
so, what can i regret for?
yet i had did my best...
thanks God.

okkies , talk about today, woots!!
i had slept for 16 hours today..!!
sleep at 2am yesterday and wake up at 6pm next day..
lols...sleeping beauty uh...LOL
and wake up brush teeth and bath and talking to dad.
and now, was playing computer times...:D
in this problems, i learned...somethings..
something that make me abit disappointed in someone..
but, its ok..nobody owns me..
muahahahas ..
takecares and God bless..
should see you in arena soon once i am release..
and i shall slays you till death.

To reader that love .

2009-06-07T03:51:00.000-07:00

ok, share past few day MIA go where .
try to recall as much as i can ..
i got go orchard with weikang , shijie , venessa , weixiang , weiyan , junjia , priscilla , zhen hao , jianwen , me and cunzhi ....when to k-box then lucky plaza play pool then shop around and go home ..and it was a brother outing cause weikang going to ns on dont know when june ..
was quite enjoy ..
and did when to woodlands play basketball with jianwen feel time ..
he was sharing telling me .this few days keep having fights with his wife ..
was quite sad for him ..
and stay at home .

ok , ytd have a great time for song training .
then night go paya lebar there for some worship leading .
was really happy ..cause God is there !!!
but after that , saw someone emo ..
was thinking ask why ..

and i learn something this feel day ..
when we happy at all times ...we can might able to infuance others to happy ..
if we emo at all times ...we can might able to infuance other to emo ..
so , i rather stay happy seeing everyone happy ...:)

Ok , wanted to be good ...but things keep coming ..unstoppable UH .

share something about today .
at first , was good ...
but end up , was bad ..hearing some bad things ..
and, think time is nearer ...:D
ok , wanted to tell you, since you choose this way .
hope you will not regret..
since you like to treat me like this.
lets treat each other same...
since you give me trob , i will give you too..
since you keep pulling down my spiritual life, when i down .
i will bring you down i promise...
if you don't like me to treat you good, i shall treat you what you wanted..
let the water flow on the river , and let the river water hit the stone by it own..
you are evil to me, i gave up everything, you depart me..
but, i had a mindset, if you know you will know,
i am not scare about no people or friends, but i scare i had too much friends...
rebuild a moutian is what i am tenlented in..
if i got a chance to choose , i will choose to get to know you earlyer then everyone..
but too bad, i got nothing to choose.
but thank God, now at least i still can get to choose to leave and forget this person.
and i am sure, i can't do it by hating you all i want..
i love you because you are a girl that had a same case as me,you are a girl that are quite sad to say bout,you are a girl that quite naive,you are a girl that cute, you are a girl that was very guai and had a great hope to me..and most important is you are you...but now, you change,change to a girl that had no courage,a girl that comdemming herselve,a girl that making her own life downwards, a girl that had no God,a girl that lying herselve,a girl that selfish,a girl that keep going night life, a girl that like to avoid me .
High eh , God, i need a girl that hold me up and change my life..help me take away my huge rock that making me fall again and again...please please .

for now, i only want peace, and i know beating someone had no gain for my life and just causing me more problems...so i decided, had you equal no me, had me equal no you..because when i saw you, my life turns down deeply to evil..so, if you english..i chinese...btw, i really need thank God that i can don't need to see your face and don't need to make me lost anymore..and my dear, please don't create problem in my life if its like that,i don't want make your life hard..
and most important, i had decided to follow jesus!!!!Muahahahas!!!!
i wanted to be a person with jesus light and salt,a person that had a great exmaple and had a great chirst like family and a person that had did a great job in the social and God kimdom..

W00t ..war war 2 coming soon ..!!!

2009-06-01T10:52:00.000-07:00

okok , was excite receiving some good news in the morning around 6am ..
and tml is the time ..ya , ok .i know you will hate me all you can ..
but just hope you understand ..

why always i will fall in love with a person that will with others that i don't like much uh .?
tell me why why why why why ?stupid bryan , ben bryan , idiot bryan , cute bryan ..(opss)
last time also , now also .later also ? next time also ? when also ?forever also ? :D
Jesus heals my hurts .
muacks.

ok , share abit...was woke up by a phone call at 5am morning ...
when now to yishun 603 ..after that , buy breakfast and when home .
was quite bored this few day .but i enjoy .
was only excited things going happen ..LOL!!!!
ok , when gym today for some training .
was a few day since i last go ..
this time i go with my father , but he did't do anything there ..
only sitting there ..LOL
ok , was kind of excited .sorry for my posting .hard to read yea ?LOL
please don't go ! i love you !!
but you will still go ...God bless me ..:)
thank god btw ..
God please control me this few day ..
i really wanted to follow you only .please !

blank mind de me just do some post .

2009-05-27T11:46:00.000-07:00

hmmm , today was quite not a good day at first .
once wakeup , some disappoint things happen .
so , i cry in the very first morning .

ok , then after that , when to wild wild wet with weixiang weiyan weikang weixiang brother and me ..ok , was kind of broke ..but, wei xiang just treated everyone ..thanks xiang .
btw , i think he spend around 200plus for the whole thing ...(too rich)

was quite enjoy playing among us ..
and was real fun that , we can just relax and throw the day back just wanted to enjoy ..LOL
after that when to eat a BBQ at paris .bill was 80plus ...LOL
then , when home ..reach home around 9pm , and auntymabel was at my home seeing those food and hungrily seeing without eating ..because i was not back yet home ..LOL
ok ..then played dota till now , was chating with auntymabel and CUNZHI just now .
was long time snice last saw her ..meet up soon yea.

ok , just sharing to those who care ..
did't post past few days because , i had blank white in my minds ..
and was kind of lazy .
ok , past few day , i keep when to gym and church things .
was quite enjoy , the most memroble things is .
the church keep fit club came and join me run at tueday ...
was really happy .woots ..
hahax ..
ok , nothing more to share ..was staying home for quite some days .

ok , decided to post a short one .

2009-05-19T07:26:00.001-07:00

some things goes well , and some goes not really well .
things goes well like , family , friends , fitness and self control .
some things not going well is , i can't had the life style last time so happily , we maybe can't be like past anymore , a millions of people you will talk to , but not me . we use to listen and share our life among each others ..but now , i had no one to share on .only God .Maybe God want me to full depends on him ..

ok , share those time i was gone missing .
was keep meeting weikang , shijie elton and weixiang for gym ..
was trying hard to have a good tonning and body shape ..
and i fall in love of gym .cause whenever i step out of gym .all the stress gone .
and a bad news is , i maybe had a small mussel tare at my left leg ..cause i use to run almost 5km everyday to distress ..and that makes my leg hurts now .
but , i will never give up .
because , i remember .we need to work in our spirit souls and body ..
and not only spirit or souls or body ..

ok , this few days was trying to be a 1oo% pure good boy ..
after school , when home .evening time when park to jog or some time when gym for training .
was trying hard to not interfere your life ..cause i should not be so selfish .
but just telling you , all the best .
and i will always love you as the same .

father going to taiwan for preaching and sharing .
will miss him for sure , because when i was at home .
he was the one the keep staying home accompany me .
but now , he going for 9days i think .O.o
so , gonna find some entertainment for myself .
OhhH , friends around me .can please try accompany me from 21 - 30 may ..
Hahax .. i will try leading good life without my dad too ..

ok , thanks and loves .

ok , decided to post a short one .

2009-05-19T07:26:00.000-07:00

today .

2009-05-06T21:51:00.000-07:00

ok , woke up with whole body mass cramp .
the first thing i try to sit up from bed .
my whole stomach started to cramp ..
woot , feeling so nice and useless ..LOL
ok , so , no matter what .i must tried to overcome my body .
so , finally i wake up for school ..
pack and stuff and go for class .
meet up willis at interchange and bus thee together .
when to eat with him .
had a open book test today .
and i am sure i can pass .cause its open book .
chat and stuff and when home ...
God bless me .

BLOG CLOSING :D

nafa test !

2009-05-05T21:39:00.000-07:00

Ok , yesterday was quite good ..
finally got to shake hands and say sorry ..
i wanted to have peace and happy go lucky didn't we ?
i shared to shijie , and he supported me .
thanks god , he never use his love to support me .
but i feel god love .
because he shared .i will accompany you brother ,
and lets see how its work .
and i will be the peace maker ..
listening to everyone feeling ..
but , if still cannot peace , then i don't think forcing to stay is good for you ..
But !!!i think we got the peace after so long ..
its hurt , its disappointed , its alone , its sad but , God is with us ..
and i think its really time for me to change before expecting guys around me to change ..
just happy go lucky ..:)
ok , was suppose to meet shijie after nafa test today , cause ven grandmother pass away .
thanks God , its christian . :D

ok , share some on school nafa ..
6 station .
sit up
standing board jump
sit and reach
pull up
shutter run
2.4km

for gold , i need need to get at least grade c and must be total more then 21 point .
thanks God , my sit up i got a and its 5 points , standing board jump got b and its 4 points , sit and reach got a and its 5 points , pull up get c and its 3 points , shutter run got a and its 5points and 2.4km get b i think and its 4 points ..

total i got 26 points i guess and its gold ...AMEN!!
thanks you for praying for me .
thanks for the morning encouragement .
thanks God for begin there for me ..!!!
prayer to God is real strong then people without prayer .:D
but i think i wanna retake .
i want 30points full marks .:)

woot , so happy ..nafa test burn up my day ..
was so tired now ..

ok , just to say , i love you not because you love me ..and ya , i am in the wrong .big wrong .and i am sorry too ..but other things .i shall let God handle ..God will guilde and prove everyone of us .:D and For the info , those tags , i was not trying argue of what , but is also making us understand .and i am not holy person too .but , i just have the feeling to type out ..and i never ever think of trying to fight back . altough some time its hurts me .but , i must still be strong .

its ok what you do , no matter what i still love you .

And ,

BLOG CLOSING IN 1 DAYS !
gonna stop for awhile .
when i settle down , i will open up again .

peace.

2009-05-05T08:34:00.000-07:00

hope it peace and treasure ..
hope everything is fine .
i am tired , i don't want to think anymore .
sorry for begin selfish .
lets let prince of peace lead the way .
i will be lest sensitive i promise .
and i don't want to think too much for everything .
Jesus lead my life .he will i am sure .
bye .
takecare .

BLOG CLOSING IN 2 DAYS TIME

Today !

2009-05-04T04:45:00.000-07:00

when school , half way go home . too tired .
friend was sick , was send back .
i also want , i want swine flu .
meet don't know how to spell the name ..
was thinking of playing boxing with him ..
end up , we did nothing .
was asking by them to eat steam boat at his house .
but i declined .cause i want go gym .
when home and use computer for awhile .
___ talk to me in msn , topic is , the youth .
was sad and hurts listening what she said .
when offline .and when out to walk .
she called me , i don't dare to pick .
because i don't want fight anymore !!!!
saw the message , 3 chances .
so , without any thinking .i need to pick .
so pick , and was more hurts .i had to hold on ..really hold on .
had a bad ending i guess .
and kup ..
and , father call nagging at me saying i when out without closing things .
was right . i deserve it .
eyes red red when home ,
post blog , millions of word i wanted to say , but it just the moment i wanted to say , my mind blank .what happen to me ..
heard mother was talking about me i guess for the last time i fight with her .
till now , think we haven talk ..
corrupted life i had .
then eat .
thinking bout closing my blog because ."looks , what you have done a mess on your tag ."
so , decided .
CLOSED .

Sorry ..

2009-05-04T04:37:00.000-07:00

I am very sorry guys .
i promise , i will mute myself .don't worry alright .:)
think all i had to say is , bye ..
thanks for letting me know something true .
thanks god for all this .
thanks for destroying me to her ..
since i am arguing back ..
let it be .

I DONT WANT FIGHT WITH YOU!!!!!

2009-05-04T03:56:00.000-07:00

why everytime we will fight about other people ?
can you at least think for me ? if i am not worth , can you at least treat me as idiot retard then hating me for this ??!!! i don't understand why only you will call me to talk about others but not me and you , maybe you are right ..we don't have any things to talk for anymore ..but i really wanna talk to you even i am mute !!! i can't imaging is you the one that ask all go ..its hurt me know ?? am i really so un-worth in your life ? are everything gone ?why you always had to think i had change and think i am wrong and i have problems .. izzit everything is just because my wrong ?? every world is right , and i am always wrong .. am i really not that worth in your heart ?? am i that hopless in your heart right now ? iziit only when you pissed then you will call me ? if its , i will make you piss .. maybe you wish to forget everything , but those thing stay in my heart forever ..what did i done wrong to make you treat me like that ??you think i don't want to be happy ?but how to ?not only others had a problem in heart ..i don't have ?? people do things for their reason , i don't have ?? i like to train home myself , smoke and sensative .. izzit ?i asked you to teach me what to do and i willing to do you said , no point .. i wanted you badly and you told me this and that .. justed wanted to keep shut before things go wrong also wrong ? just wanted you understand me me at least also can't ?as you said .yes , i was keep fighting with them , but at least we know more about each other and love each other more ..but why the more we fight , the more we don't understand each other ?and the more you hate me ?!!! .
but , i still had to say thanks for those time you let me feel like world most happy ever .
sorry for making you feel so hopless and un-worth .
ok for , i will do something on this ..and i will try not to be so bad in your life ..
LISTEN , I DOTHISFORYOU BECAUSEILOVEYOU!

Blog closing on 3days time .

Cried to God

2009-05-04T02:18:00.000-07:00

Only God know me best then anyone do ..
because , i don't even know what i am feeling now ..
feeling abit of sad plus bit of happy plus bit of disappointed plus bit of hope plus bit of hopeless plus bit of angry plus big of hurts plus bit of funny plus bit of tired plus bit of high plus bit of joy plus bit of fear plus bit of peace ..
O.0 ..add up equal what i guess ..
want to say , i am totally sad .
i still won't , because i found found the meaning of living for you .
want to say i am happy .
i still won't , because things goes very messed up .
want to say i am disappointed ,
i still won't , because i found hope when i dreaming .
want to say i am hope .
i still won't because it seem like no hope .
want to say hopeless ,
i still won't , because i memorois cure me .
want to say angry .
i still won't , because had to worth angry .
want to say hurts ,
i still won't , because friends heal me .
want to say funny ,
i still won't because i am truthfully serious .
want to say tired ,
i still won't because i want to fight hard for this .
want to say high,
i still won't because i keep on facing problem.
want to say joy ,
i still won't because always fight .
want to say fear ,
i still won't because i love you .
want to say peace ,
i still won't because i can't found everytime .

i don't need anyone to waited , but at least you i will be happy .
you hurts me , and the more you hurt me .
the move i love you ...
sorry for offline , and more sorry for never pick up , because i promise you i will pick your every call i guess ...
Remember , i am strong because of you ..and you are the only reason .!!
never be replace !

Dreaming time make me happy !!

2009-05-03T09:27:00.000-07:00

Ok , day dreaming now ...
but i swear its true i wanted ..
hmmm .how can i start ??

ok , if God give me a best wish ever .
i will wanted to choose to be with ___ since young ..
if time had to roll back .
i will choose the roll back from the first we know each others .
and its 1years 5months since a start .
and i will want to treasure the every second without going smoke or whatever but to stick with ___ once i meet ___ .
i will really want to be in ___ life working hard from there .
i will really want to be the best for ___ ..
i will choose to be more understanding and caring and stop paranoid in ___ life ..
i will choose to spend every single second with ___ ..
i will really want ___ fairy tales come true ..
i will really want to keep the promise ..
i will really want to make a swear to ___ letting ___ know no others women can replace ___ in my life.
i will do all i can to make ___ life colorful ..
i will willing to let ___ know even no one there , i am always there .
i will really want my life to fill the color by her , because her ink is much better !!
i will really want to let ___ know i really want to spend and share my next half life living with ___ .
i will really want to let ___ know , you are always in the priory in everything i do .
i will really want to let ___ know , you are always the queen i scare of .
i will really want to let ___ know i am a man that willing to do anything for ___ sake .
i will really want to let ___ know , i will never forget all those happy time we when and smiling like nobody bisness everyday sharing about our past ..
i will really want to let you know , ILOVEYOU !!!!!AND YOU CAN NEVER BE REPLACE !!YOU WILL NEVER BE ALONE AND FORSAKEN . BECAUSE I AM HERE !! ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU ONLY !

but i know , over all , it was just dreaming ..:)
but those dream make me feel good ..because those time was the time i felt most happy and meaningfull and thinking myself was so blessed and lucky ..
ok , but i had to know ...time don't wait on me .
so , i am sorry , i fail the test .
goodnight guys .

Today !!

2009-05-03T08:30:00.000-07:00

Cut it short ,

wake up at 7.45 am ..
prepare and stuff .go church .
prepare to lead .pray and stuff ..
thanks God worship is good .
sharing time ...i reached home at 10.45 pm ytd cause was leading with the worship team n pastor ngan church ..
and was prayer , God i was doing your job , and please don't let me get caught ..
and right after i when home 5min .the officer came and check ..
thanks God , was ever the officer so late still come check ..14months of pobation .and it was the first time he came so late ..was thinking to ask the officer why he came so late so slove and see how God works ...but i don't dare to ask ..and thanks God for answering prayer .

and after church , when to caleb house for prayer ..
but i fall asleep cause too bored ..sorry for sleeping ..
then wake up , some stupid idiot guy call me finding trob with me .
so was waiting him to jio me out one to one ..LOL
but , don't understand why he never ...
if he did ...i would be happy ..because i can destress punching ..
ya , abit selfish , sorry God ..catch me if i done anything wrong .
i am willing for your punish ...:)
so after that , when down to settle and do some action .
and , things goes fine then what i think ..:)
was around to meet them for cycling ..
so when down and cab there to meet them ..
and cycle ..
then when home ...

when i was at mrt ,
was thinking about somethings ..
but , think ___ wont either care for me already ?
but , don't know why , still thinking ..
Omg , whenever i saw ___ , the feeling is so strong that i need to do something bout it before i regret for my life .
and thats why i keep avoiding ___ .
think i am really not a man ..LOL !!
Omg , please ...i need the power .i need it eagerly ..
God give me please ..listen my prayer please .!!!
God , can you please exchange my life for ___ ?
i promise you anything for this prayer please ...!!!!
haiiiiiiissss...

ok ...done , post finish .

Post reply on xiaoen , huiwen and caleb .

2009-05-03T07:22:00.000-07:00

Huiwen : ok , i did say , i stand there for 25 mins , and did walk around finding for around 25mins too ok ..ya , but why right after i when down ...everyone gone ??i just go up and get something and i did't even spend my time smoking or whatever there k .i don't need any asking forgivness .no one is wrong i guess , and i am used to it ..i voice it out how many and did anyone notice ?no , not even you ..and you all its not the matter of young and old .and please think back who started thiis areoplane game ?? what you all feel is just what i feel on that moment .and please , snice when you saw i do my cig stuff alone ??LOL , please don't think too far yet i never .and please check my last tag , i did't say and change but just add on ??i am sure at least i learn something call not to speck throns to others .:) , and why not ?and you all was busy talking on own things and what you expect me ?go act as i know everything and join in ?? please lahhhs ..think what you all do first please ..

x|aO`en : ok , for your info .. for me , that day is just a fellowship day hoping everything will turn good .. i never calculating ...but its just a go up and go down ..and i am sure i even REPORT i going up to buy thing ...its ok ...i had forget already , and nevermind ..next time will happen to you in your life for sure once ..but i am not sure who going did it .. but i am sure , in your life time , you will got it once by don't know who , lets wait and see alright ? then what am i going to do ?? tie a string together next time and walk together ? and i won't left without unslove ? please lahhhs . the feeling is like so been bastard , and you guys is the ever first do it in my life ..and maybe , maybe what i think is too bad too , because i had never meet and go out with like that before , because even all go last time , there will at least 1-2 people waiting there to guilde way ..but not all go .you get it ?and , i did't stuck ..i still learn on church ..but only thing is why i am so disappointed and sensative to you all ... i also want to change ..but don't know why it always stop me .and i guess jesus is also human .for what i know ..before jesus came , human keep saying ...we can't do this and do that , because you are God and we are human ..but , when God send his child ..it prove us that , human also can do it .?ya , you did not see someone like jesus , but you did know jesus ? ya , God grace is always enought , but just a reminder ..The biggest grace on God to us is knowing him ..If God grace is to cover every thing for you ..what fore for repent ?and i found , you had abit wrong mindset , thinking we are human and jesus is God , but for your info , Jesus is also human forms ..and he did it ...am i right ?so you can did it .and most important things is , jesus is God son ..and we are too ..because God had choosen us ..so please , don't keep thinking , we are human and God is God , if its it ..what for bible teach us to be godlly like person ?and for what i learn , God grace is enought , and he love you thats why he punish you ..so , we can't also take avantage of God grace i means ..and there is a topic that is "CHEN MI ZAI EN DIAN TANG ZHONG" had time i will share with you ..and please , i never fault anyone ever ..guess if i fault i still will talking to you all ?if i thing of God is like that , i still will come church ? i won't keep it , because i really think its waste of time thinking of all those things that even childish then 0years old ..and just a feedback , if you all ever wanted to build up strong , please stay strong for own and unit as one before you all start to go out to save people ...because if outsider saw it , it will laught that , we can't even stay strong and keep saying wanna save people ..simple , build everyone up once again in order to impact people ..and , love is not only words ..ya , i admit , i ownself is hard to find back the love to you all ..because all things is crush in just a second .. i once learn a things on love ..will teach you if got chances ..but for your info , read and notice more on the part of jesus was sended down to the world , and what he do to make a millions of people feel loved and trust him till now , and think . why it impacts so many genations down till us ?.. and i am sure miricles like heallings etc are not really works that millions of people belives on jesus , becase demons also can perfrom miricles .and even those tang kee outside .:) .

Caleb : bro , i really never ever once got this problem before i swear in my life and to God .. And the most disappointed is , i can't imaging the first group is this ..and i was thinking , we chirstian get to know God , we should be more strong then many people outside , but i can't imaging all this happens in me through you all wor .. really .ya , on my past , i don't know God , my friend don't know God , but you know ? at least we know the simple laws of going out together as team ..and bro , the most thing make me disappointed is why all this happen on me through this group but not others Group that don't know God you understand ? Its really pain when seeing everything happen you know ??yups , i know i go back is my problem , but what can i do ?? never ever once got all those problem , and i really don't know how to settle ..as i saw so much confilts and things going on .. i wonder , why there is so many problem when we all know the truth .and why , i face so many problems with you all when we all know the truth ?but , why , i did not had problems with my past friends and brother when we don't know God ?? i really think we all need stay strong before helping ..ya , you can tell me you all love each other and very strong ..but , not everyone eyes know when we start to reach out to others .. just like i am wearing lousy colths and pants telling you my mum is a millions air ...will you belive ? just like i am very smelly telling you i just bath come out , will you belive and just like i tell you i love you , and on your behind i ask my friend to beat you up and you know , will you stil belive i love you ??i admit , it really make me think alot ..if really things still can't click on well , i think i had to walk one step see one step .
thanks for reading my long post .
huiwen , xiaoen and caleb .

fine sat .:)

2009-05-02T09:53:00.000-07:00

Ok , for the info .. me and my father can start to talk things out again ..
and he started to treat me better i guess ...
was quite happy that night mare is over ..
ok , lets talk abit on friday ..friday suppose to be a good day that there is not school ..
and was thinking , why there is no call from church mate for event on Thursday night ??
so , was asking around and wanna try host one for myself ...
and some told me call them tomorrow and see where i want to go ..
so was decide to meet my friends ..
but , in the morning , i receive 4 message from friends ..3 of them is from church .
and one of course is from shi jie my girl friend ...LOL .
suddenly they plan to go youth outing in the last min ..
so i wake up and make a call to them asking where are them , because in the message ,
they write , meet on 1.30pm ..but i wake up on 1.40pm ..LOL
it was too sudden , and i don't know how to settle .
so i decide i reject meeting friend and going meet them ..
was packing my stuff fast , so that i might join them fast ..
and when i finish , i call xiaoen .. telling and asking them ,
i had done , where are you all ..they told me they are in bus to vivo city ..
sian1/2 , i thought we will go together ..
so , i suddenly saw shijie message again ..
telling me he is just down stair eating ...and i start to think , what if they eat there ?
so , i called him and meet him eat together ...:)
and i suddenly notice .i forget to eat my medi ..!!!
Omg , i was to gan chiong to go out just now uh ?!!!
lols !!!!so faster when home and eat before going out ...
so , bye to shijie ..

train all the way to vivo city myself ...was quite a long journey there , its about 50mins to 1hour.
but i just don't know why i enjoy myself in the train ..LOL
so , when i reach ..i message xiaoen and she call me trying to meet me ...
so , meeted them ..

blah blah blah ...
bad things happen ....
1st : its was totally not like youth outing ..
2nd: i learn nothing from God that day ..
3rd: everyone split here and there ..
4th: everything was so last min ..
5th: areoplaned .

roughtly , i told that i go up buy something , then i ask for wait , then i when up , 5 min later , i when down , then everyone missing , i when all the way down and up to find them , but not everywhere , because i don't really know the way of vivo , because i once lost inside vivo alone , and i can't find the way out , and i waited at the same spot for 25min , and notice no one there , and i pissed , strong feeling of kana bastard , and when home myself asking and finding way , when for dinner at woodlands alone , go prayer meeting , they ask me where are those youth , i don't know how to answer , because we should go together back together , and do things as one together , but things just goes different ..there is one word in chinese " wo men yi qi chu men , yi qi hui ,yi qi chu men , qi qi chou, yi qi ta jia , yi qi si , yi qi jing jiu yao yi qi chu ." but think , they are born in english edu ..so , maybe they don't know the law of going out ... was so proud because i am chinese .

so , was strong feeling of kana areoplaned .so when prayer meeting myself ...
sorry friends that i reject you all and never call you all that when i say i will host one outing ..
ok , lets stop about sad things ...

today today !!!
woke up , by right was needed to meet jabez at 1.30pm ...but i woke up at 1.25pm ..
so , faster go bath and stuff then when to jabez house for song choosing and pratice ..
was asking where is caleb ..and jabez say , he when out ...
Omg , tomorrow is church for youth leading .
and we had not choose any song .
and as a so call youth leader ..you never come for song practice yet go out ?
funny uh ?
was quite disappointed ..
just seem like nobody bisness .?
so , nevermind , choose songs with jabez ..
and then we head to ang mo kio together ..
then when to pastor ngan church for song leading ...
was quite good for song leading ...:)
and pastor don preach on spirit soul and body ..!!

there is a part impact me alot ..:)
we guys need to change for better ...
do things for better ..
be good and true before God ...
don't tell me that all you need is only to have the heart for him ..
then , he share a story ..
he once was called to preach on his church in 600plus people ...
but , that time ...he don't have good english , and he don't know how to speak english well ..
and he when , and when he started to share on a boy and girl story of in a house . ..
he make everyone blur , because of his poor english .and end up , no people know that , who is really inside the house and outside the house , because he mix up on he , she , him , her ...
and end up , everyone was blur and confuse .and he told us , he got the heart for God also ma ..but end up ??

this story teach us on , we not only need to just have the heart .but need to change better for jesus ..so that people will see the glory of God ..and you may able to lead people to chirst ..but not only had a heart for God ..It is not enought ..have desire for God everytime , and you will learn and grow ..Cool man , the message ..:D

so , when home , was late ..reach home around 10.40 pm .
and miricle happen on me ...will share on tommorow ..:)
ok , its late .
so , takecare ..

DIsappointed , regret and happy ..

2009-04-30T07:19:00.000-07:00

i did a morning post just now , and now i wanted to write my another half day of my days ..
was playing dota for whole afternoon after school ..
halfway , mother wake up ...and my brother came back from camp ..
its been long time since i last saw him .i think its about a month since i last saw him ..
i was so happy to see him , because he is a brother that always support me .
and always listen to me ..so , we chit chat ...i love the feeling man ..:)
ok , a bad thing happen today ..was trying to share with my mum about today morning case .
but , when i started to share ...she just never listen and just say all my wrong ..:)
so , really , its the first time i ever shout at her and telling her i am disappointed on this family ..
and i was saying those words that make her disappointed too ...i almost lost ..
i walk to the kitchen and look at downstair , and i really wanted to just jump down at the moment .

i i just remember some sentence i am shouting ..
" You all like to help her help there , but will never help the family !!"
" You all can help and change people , but will never can help the family "
" You all go and love your that daughter lor , i am ok with it and i used to it "
" Eh , i am not primary school la , did you ever think of my feeling anot "
" Eh , i am ok without you all la , i am really disappointed in you all "
" Eh , you all really make me going give up on christian la "

i was abit regret that i say things really hurt her , because she is the most indecent person in the family ..I'am sorry , but i still need to say before things goes wrose ..
Sorry mum .

So , after that , i take my phone and ring my friend asking to go gym ..
cause only when i am frocing myself on workout and keep running is the best way for me to distress ..so , i just pack my stuff and when out without a bye ..
but i know deeply inside my hearts , i am worry for the hurt i put on her ..
so i when home and tell my kor kor to look after my mum then i when out again ..

when to gym for a stress excise ..
was chatting about God and others religons ..
me and weixiang brother was sharing gospel to weixiang and weiyan telling God love them .
so happy that i got a tag team ..LoLs .
and when to dinner with them and stuff ..
Btw , the dinner was 57 bucks !!!Omg ..
buy thanks to them , they settle for me ...>.<
thanks for the treat !!!!
and when home ...
and now, i was at home ..!

Bad day i got ...

2009-04-29T20:41:00.000-07:00

ok , long time since last post maybe ,
yesterday life is quite bored ...wakeup at morning 7am ,
prepare my stuff and when school for my sport and wellness (gym)...
was quite sleepy , but i can't let my sleepy decide my fate ...
so , was force to do some workout at school ...as my nafa test is coming on next coming week ..
its like ...i want GOLD !!!!but , so sad ....my hand started to pain again ...
was quite disappointed on myself ...LOLs ..because thats one of my friend was smaller size then me, but he can able to carry the 80 Kg weight for 10 times .. and i only can carry 50 for 12 times ...
was so discourage ..LOL .

but , after that , i notice ...he when gym longer then me ...LOL !!!
so , thats make me find back my hope ..

then was really no strength for the whole day ..
but , i meeted my friend to go gym at the evening ..Omg , i was like ...
so , when home to play computer and surf net ...was trying my best to relax ..
so on the evening time ...friends from navel came back from work ...
so meet him for gym ...was so long since i last saw him ...
was quite happy that we talked about our past when i was still in secondary one and two ..
was quite funny when we look back ..LoLs !
and we was talking about the coming 2012 that the doom time world ..
all people will die ..lol ,
i don't want die so early !!! i still haven drive my car and have my dear son and wife ...
HOW CAN I DIE ON THE AGE OF 22 if 2012 its the end days ???
OMG .!!!
then when home eat , watch tv and sleep ...

ok , thats a big news about today ..
morning , was sleeping ...needed to reach school by 8.30am ...
but , i told my parents ...i need reach school by 8.30am ...they thought i am lying to them ??
they told me , if you are lying to us , means you are lying to yourself ...
and i still remember once my teacher send me a message telling me .
there is not morning lesson , but afternoon lesson still same ..
then i told my father , morning no lesson , i will go school at afternoon ..
then i when back sleep ..guess what ??? he go try to call my teacher and ask iziit true ?
Omg ..i am not primary one and secondary 1 ...but i am 19years old young adults can ...
if every parent did this ...then the teacher will be damn busy on answering phone ..
then if the teacher tell my class about this ..how am i going to face friend knowing that i had a parents that never trust me ??

Omg , what kind of parent is this ..no brain or retard ??
only think for their own , and their daughter .. what about me ??
ok , lets jump back about today ...was abit lazy to wake up ..cause my body body was pain ..
and my father was nagging there ...why always you are the one that like to make me angry and bad mood ??Omg , was like damn angry ...he was like ...keep waking me up by 7am ...
but normally i wake up at 7.30 am(a hour before class) ..but he was keep nagging at me ...
then i was like so disappoint telling him , if waking me up make you bad mood , then don't wake me up next time ...then he run to me and scold me and kick me once !!!!
then i shout at him , don't need to use hand one ...if want ..then i wakeup then say ..
then i stand up and go bath ..and he when to don't know where ...was no interest on him ..
so faster do my things and go school ..meet willis for breadfast and go class ..btw , today 10.30 release ...due to teacher was sick and on MC leave ..so , accommpany jeffrey to OUB bank to open new account ..he was like , so rich can ..withdraw 1.5k for his new account ..
but , can't blame ..his father support ..and i only had mother support ..
was talking about bike and car ..
willis going to enroll by next week (stupid , mother support) ,
and i going to work on june for next month for bike enroll ..
so , for now ...finding supporters ..but i don't want depends on timah ..but myself ..:)
ok , nothing more ...

was so tired to work hard for church ..
really tired , maybe i put you all as hope of friends and even think of changing and go into the life of you all , but , it always fail ..and i really tired , for now , just meet people that wanted to meet me ..love people that love me ...reflects how people treat me ..missing people that miss me ..thinking for people that think for me ..

byes guys .

Peace .

2009-04-27T08:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday when to cycle with caleb they all ..
its been long long time ago since i last cycle ...
think about 5years back i guess ...i miss the past of cycling feeling ..
but lucky , i found back abit through cycling with caleb they all ..
but i still miss the past time ..those time we cycle around and disturbing ...LOL
calling police to catch us ..put out challenge to police ...LoLs ..
but of cause now i can't do all this again ...LoLs .
Ok , i was late home at 10.45pm ..hoping my officer will not come up to check on me ..
and my hope come true ..and lucky , my father is talking to her daughter ..
so , the attention on me is not so much ..and did not get any scolding ...Heng arhs!!!

though the way ...wei xiang ask me ride to sembawang there ..and he say more fast ..
and its like double the road from gambas ..!!!
so , halfway ..i decide to change the way home from sembawang shopping center to home ..
and sembawang shopping center is so nice now la ...
think when i am bored ..i want to go there walk walk ..
but i think it will be at july .:) cause brother will come out ..:)and people will accompany me go ..
and half way , weiyan fall down ..>.<
cause the bike is stupid ..and i use up quite alot of time repairing the bike ..
why is only i ?
because weixiang and weiyan dont know how to repair ...LOL
okok ..end .

then today , wake up at 8.45am , prepare for school ....
when school study and stuff ...and my whole body is so tired till i gonna die ..
but i still need to stay strong ..:)
then there is some problems ...and willis ask me wanna go timah anot ...
i was deciding on this for the whole day ..??
go timah , i can won't be so bored .and there are all friends at there .
and i can even drink and talk to at there ...
but , end up i never go , cause my monday is a rest day for me ..
and i want to rest my body enjoying and find freedom for my life after school ..
so , after school . i stay at home do some work out and play computer ..
till now .

Someone message me asking me whats wrong with me ..
i don't know how to answer .. i scare i will make someone angry again .
so , i did not reply ...
still thinking how to reply ..
i don't want she wait .but i also don't want she find trob with me ..
so , i am sorry .

and i was so happy on tomorrow that there is someone accompany me to gym tomorrow ..!!!
yeahhh !!!

Sorry for all those life i give on to you , hope you will be fine ..
since you keep telling me , you are very fine always ..
i hope its true , and i hope you will .
since you can might able to share with other people , and you really can't share to me always ..
then sorry for the unless me , i will leave your life step by step and don't worry .

regret to choose this path ...

2009-04-25T09:42:00.000-07:00

so long never really post le ...
don't know what to post this time ...
times may be happy , but more to be sad ..
life with full hope , but full of discourage ..

Yesterday when to caleb house for some fellowship ..
but i don't think it was ..and i was seem unwelcome ??
hey , i was not those people that wanted to fellow much la ..
i can live with my own , doing what i like and most important is i don't need anything tong qing ..!!
really really lucky for many reason ...if not i would really send you to hell i promise ..
don't think me is born out for return what i own , and i did not own anything !!!
don't think i change better and i will not change back ..!!!
don't think my dad can settle me if i really choose my path .!!!

wtf is going on i don't know , why every time only you guys can effect my emotion ..?!!
but , everything will be ok soon ..and i will leave step by step soon i think ?..:)
and i might able to stand stronger and stronger just for my own ..
please , don't ever think of climbing up my head ..limit will reach soon .and thinks will burst out very big too ..
trust me , i can be very good , but i can be more evil ..

ok , roughty what i did today ...sleep for the whole day ..
was too drifted ...did think of going gym for distress ..but , i don't think my friend will go with me today , cause his whole body is cramp till like shit ..
so , i intent to sleep and sleep and sleep ...
wahahaahaax.
ok , share something unhappy today ..
brought somethings more someone ..did tell her i brought for her .
but end up , she angry and wanted to go downstair eat the same thing i brought ..
Omg !!! HIGH EH !!
what i do is shit ..what other do i God ..:)

A thousand of people you may good to ,
but always not me ..

maybe we really gone case le ba ..
if thats it ..sorry .

i did and did and did hoping you will treat me better ,
and others just don't really cares about your life ..
but end up the work i did is to get all this things ..

and today is a bad day ..and who care ???
also still need to make myself smile more ..
got scolded , also need to act understand her .. LOLs !!!FAKE Mask rocks yea .!

millions of questions in my mind forever wont unlock ..forever i swore !!
ok , then when home , almost fight with parents again about money stuff ..
wahaahaax ...parents ar parents , you think your money VERY BIG ??!!!
you think what you gave is enough for my meals only ??!!!
LoLs!!! _|_
I don't understand why you guys born me out for ...
born me out to like this ??!!must well don't born me out ..
Hahax , but i really learn a great thing , i will only have son when i affort to feed them with good things .!!i won't choose to have son and let them suffer with me when i am a unless father .!!
and i won't let them walk and have the same feeling of me i swear ..i will love them with all my heart and soul just to protect them .. i won't let them share any love with other people ..i won't make them disappointed on giving birth to them on the earth ..
For my father mother there , do all you like ...share all you like , as i said , i had been on earth for almost 19 years .and i was all alone for around 15 years ...who care?? i still is so fine and so happy without you ..right ??!!
so , keep more gan's daughter ..and talk to them more kk ??
and i shall when out , stay out after my pobation end's ..
Hahax ...yes !you will talk to me , only when you really had nothing to do , then you will find something to nagg or scold at me ...eh !!!KNNBCCB !! really its because you change and you are my parent la !!NABEI , if not i sure wack you till you die la ..
why not you try turn to your old path and try shout at me ??
see what will i do to you ??
i swear i will let you stay hospital more then staying home ..!!!
wahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahax !!!!!

God ar God , why you created me in this world ..??
love me just send me to heaven ma ...why still must come to this world for so many saddness , discourage , emotions , disappointment ?? why??!!!!
ARHAhahahahahahahahaha !!!!

Fuck you all , i don't need anyone to be there for me ..
Don't say you will be ther for me too , because you all is fuckers !!!
And overall , you all had not be there for me even once ..
Its only when you all bored , sad and whatever reason ..
then you all will be there for me .._|_

ok, bye

Della story , Story time .

2009-04-23T08:15:00.000-07:00

Della story(Name is change to protect identity.Base on true story)

Della is 14 this year.She enroll in North light school due to her PSLE result.When you get to see her the first time, it is obvious that she looks different from the other student.Because of her big head.There's a reason why she had huge head which make her looks abnormal.

When she was 3 years old, she had contracted a illness and this illness is cannot be cured until today.
The doctor speak to her parents when she was 3:" Her brain is accumulating waters which she absorb from her daily intake.And this cause her to have headache and it affect her study.I'm afraid to say that she has 3 more years to Live."

3 more years to live, can you imagine?You are facing death.Dieing on the age of 6.And you are aware of it, how are you suppose to take it?But miracle happens, it really does.And i happen to believe it because i had seen before.

She Live until today.She hit over her limit.You know why she can live until now?because she did 31 operations through out her 12 years.The op is to drain out the waters from her brain.

But this year,her doctor speak to her personally:"Della, you have been doing your operations for 31 times for the past 12 years.But this year, i can't continue to operate on you anymore.Because it will affect you and your body and your body cannot take it.I'm sorry to say.i bet it's a must for you to know.may god bless you."

She was speechless.The only thing she knew was she's going to die any of these days, in this year.Everyday when she gets to open her eyes, she appreciate that a lot because she knew that she's not dead.She wants to spend her time with her families, friends, teachers and people around who loves and cherish her.Why?because she never know is there a tomorrow again.She can't predict or assume that she will die today or any of the tomorrow but she knew death is awaiting.

Her principle asked her:"What is your wish?your dream?" Della reply:"The only wish i want is to perform in front of my parents, friends, teachers and the principle before its time for me to go :)."Tears flow down my cheek and wet my eye lashes, the moment she say this.Her parents is with her every minute every second.Seeing her living for 14 years is a very hard and tough with worries.

There's a phrase in Chinese call 白发人送黑发人 (Parents with=white hair sending children with= black hair off the last time).Its so rare but it happens now days.Cherish your life.Don't make it last minute when you know something bad about you gonna happen then came crying and cherishing.Its too late.Only regrets will stuck in your heart forever because you will never get a second chance back.

Spending their last time together its always a memories in their heart.I hope god bless you all the way.

Once again ...sunday .

2009-04-19T10:06:00.000-07:00

lols ...had nothing much to write i guess ...
ytd night manage to talk to her , but father kpkb that i keep use my phone ..wtf
i had been don't know how long never use phone ..
man always see on the bad but not good ...
and just now too ..i tired talk again ..but , father nagg again ..
omg , i was thinking ..you are not the one feeding me from small till now .
till now is still my mother feeding me , but not you ..why you care??!!
lols .but i dont want to hurt my dad feeling ...
Omg , God save me ..!!!i want her .!
ok , today was quite a fun day ..
church is pack with people ...wow , God blessed JDBC uh!!
then worship and stuff ...its was very enjoy i beg ..
whenever i stress or what , but whenever i when to worship .God really help me to carry my burden aways ..iloveyou .!

ok , after that , when to pastor house for some prayer ..
BECAUSE , ENGLISH GROUPS IS START !!!MAY GOD USE US !
and its starting in the june .. wow , super excited la ..lols
ok , after prayer , i when to sleep at his house , due to i was really really tired ..
not only my body need rest , my soul needs baddly too !!!
sleep till 7 plus and i wake up ..abit blur vision ..and saw not people at home.
so when to call caleb and ask him where is he , and they was cycling at sembawang ..
so train down to sembawang and meet them for some cycling ..
wow , its quite enjoy that caleb bring us to a huge car park ..but its was really fun when you started to cycle down the slope with a 40km/h speed with a bicycle .?
he try quite alot of time , and it was really super enjoy and de-stressing myself ..
i really miss the past that we cycle till morning .!!LOL.

and a best joke of the day , i fall down ..
got some scar , but it will always not pain then the pain .

so , reach home do some workout .and a game of dota ..
and rest !

Whenever i started i think of those happening things , i started to emo .. started to have many many question in my brain . how am i going to do ??i really wanted to try best for a last chances , but think you woulden gave .nevermind , i will wait till the day i can't ..

Bod bless ,
Takecare ,
Iloveyou .

nagg machine .

2009-04-16T10:10:00.000-07:00

Hmmmms , today was quite boring ...
whole body was cramp like dogs ...cant even move well ..
sleep for very long ..LOL .found no strength to wake up ..

was missing you , who know ?
hmmms ....was treated for launch ...thanks God that he know i pok liao ..LOL

ok , wanna share something bad ...
because of her , i almost fight with my father ..
i remembered , my father keep asking me ..
you cant keep depend on people ...do it yourself ,
sounds great arhs ??!!!
PI LA !!!
suddenly i got a toughts ..
then father mother is for what ???
nagging machine arhs ?
or , when mood down or not good ...find something to nag to or talk to ??
_|_ shit you ass hole ..
sounds nice , train me to be independent ...
sound nan ting is , you does not wanted to care much of me ..!!!!
only my mum treat me best ..she will give up everything because of me ..and i love her alot ..
but too bad , i dont know how express it out .
but , listen ...anyone hurt my mum ..i will hurt their 18th generation .

ok , life is peaceful ..wake up , do some workout , go school , go home , dota and sleep ...
thats my life ... and i wanted to say , dota is not my everything ..and dota is just a time burnner in my life ..so , you know i most wanted is what ..

ok , having some mood swing now days ...was thinking qutite alot of things ..
but , i had no choice .i still need to seems strong outside ..i still need to fight for my things !
so , never ending giveup spirit , i pray you will come into my body !!!
AND EVERLASTING FOREVER LOVE , I PRAY YOU ALSO COME INTO MY LIFE !!!
ok , nothing much to post as all days had nothing much event ..

BTW , HAPPY BIRD DAY ASHELY HO WAN QIAN !!!
takecare God bless ..

phobia on somethings .!save me ...

2009-04-12T21:18:00.000-07:00

i use to be a kid of happiness , i use to be the happy star of people ...
OMG !!!What had happen to me ??
i can't sleep , i can't have peace now !!!!
whenever i start to think ...i start to shake .!
brothers , father , mother , friends i need you !!!!!!!
i never had this kind feeling before .Its sucks ..
i had no strength to do anything ..
God!!!save me please !!!what am i going to do ?what i will be ended in ?
JESUS !!! i need you !! Where is the mingkai ??!!!
OMG ! come back !!LIM MING KAI COME BACK !!
this is not me , i am sure ..this is totally not me !
i started to think like this ..but i do with different things ..!!
i have this mindset .. but i did another mindset !!!
I AM LOST !!HELP ME PLEASE !! HELP ME FRIEND !!
i don't want to be like this ...this is suffering to me ..
it really scare me out almost my soul ..
i wanted to end now !! end my this freaking life !
i don't wanted to leave everyone ...how ??!!!
why i always bring a smile out yet i am not smiling inside ??
OMG !!! i am so fake ...fucking fuck out of my body !!!
i wanted to be myself ..a self of freedom and loved mingkai .!!
but i am an annoying idiot to everyone ..!!
PLEASE SAVE ME !!
LIM MING KAI ! i pray you will come back NOW !!
Or just send me to mental hospital please ..!! gonna crazy like that ..
everything really different now !!!HOW HOW !!
i pray RTC will break off !!!

vengeance will revenge ...!!!!

Sunday worship

2009-04-12T19:01:00.000-07:00

Ok , so lets post things on sunday ...
wokeup at the morning for church with my father ...
had some breakfast at my home downstairs ...
had no courage to call you ...Omg , i just like a girl ???!!!LOL
so , when to church at 9.30am ..
had some worship and stuff ...was quite touching cause jesus die on the cross for our sin ...
the words ...we are accepted you are rejected really touch my heart ..
really thank you for dying for us and today ..we are not long be rejected ..
thank you jesus ..
:D

had some prayer for our coming english worship starting ..
was really excited that God choosen us to glorify his name ..
Yeahhhs...!!!!
i will do all the best for you God ...
ok , then when home to sleep as life still abit bored ..
sleep and wake up to play some dota ...LOL
then when back to sleep ...
life seems so peaceful and bored now ..

don't reject me will you ..
try for a last time and give me time to prove to change can you ??

takecare & Godbless.

understood ??

2009-04-11T10:54:00.000-07:00

as life goes till 19years ..i understood and saw the evil of man ..
and its because of this ..i had fear , fear on human ...
ohhhh ..protect myself or other ??

GOD SAVE ME !!!!!!!

2009-04-11T09:17:00.000-07:00

yesterday was quite happy cause i going out again ...
was so happy and sleep so early just incase i missed the meeting ..
so nothing much ...

today , was quite busy for the whole day ...
when to the good news singapore ...was so enjoy and touching ..
i suddenly had the feeling of God and the calling back from God ..
when to bugis ..and then , when to woodlands ??
was quite happy at the first starting ...
very long never spent time with you and i wanted to spent ..
but , things changing fast ..very fast ..compare to the past and now ...
its heaven and hell ..
i dont know why i got to be treated like that ..but , nevermind ..thankyou anyway .

was getting moody just now and now ...
why there is a millions of person in the earth , and i had to fall in love in her so deep that i cant effort to lost her ??!!!
i just wanted to be like the past ...but things won't be so good for now on i guess ..
i am sorry ..maybe i did hurt you alot or whatever make you change so much in your view ..
i really wanted to try hard ..but , when will i collapse from this ...
lord i pray i will found strength and courage on this problems ..
there are millions of people you will treat good , but not me always ..
maybe i really own you too much ...:)
i'am sorry ...
she told me , just change for her and start to be a new person now ..
i wanted !!!its all i want ..but , its always not so easy always ..
no matter how am i or what be become ..i will still wanna be the best man ever in your life i try ..
i will never give up on this till i am fully collapse in this ...

btw , just got nagged by my father ??
saying , why i walk so fast and never wait ??
LOL , nice one ah ...humans always hear the one side of the story ..
but my father ever ask , what happen to me ??
answer is ..NO WAY !!
retard human its like that ..
father , thanks that you will stop nagging ...
if not i think i will be angry and crying shouting to you i promise ..
how you and people relationship is your problems ...
not mine anyway ..
father mother ,trust me ...if one day you side others then me ..
i tell you ..i will be disappointed and will not want you to be my father mother ..
please ask the answer before start nagging at me ...
i told you last time ...i promise i will shoot you all back every time once you started to do before ask ..nagg before ask ..

God , please save me on this ...i had nothing more worth for me to care for ...
God , help me settle this will you ??!!!

AND A LAST REAL WARNING ...
IF I AM EXTRA ...I WILL GO HOME SLEEP ..I CANT STAND THIS JOKE I SWEAR .IT TOO MUCH FOR ME ALREADY ...IF I WAS DRIFTED AGAIN .I WILL SWEAR I WONT BE SO KIND AGAIN ..
I WOULD RATHER DON'T WANT A FUCKING FRIEND THEN HAVING THIS STUPID RETARD FELT DRIFTED PROBLEMS .!!!AND I SWEAR I CAN BE VERY BAD ONCE ONLY TO A PERSON ..PLEASE DON'T TEST ME ..FUCKING WANTED TO ACT ?! I WILL FUCKING KILL YOUR LOVE ONE !!!!!!
RATHER HAD FRIEND THAT LIE ON ME ALWAYS THERE THEN HAVING FRIEND THAT ACTING BLUR !!OR USING ME ..!

i dont know what happen to me , God.. think bring me home will better before i started be a unwelcome boy thinking all this ...
Thanks god , only you understand me and only you listen to me all the time ..!

thank you jesus !.

2009-04-10T09:59:00.000-07:00

ok ...draft about why i last few day did't post anythings ...
excuses and bullshitting excuse is because i was busy playing MU online games at home and was trying my best to slot out the game ...LOL

ok , last few day i forget quite alot things i do ...
i try my best to post as many as i can ...:D
heard my dear brother weikang and shi jie going to army soon..
So buck up my time for them more ? i would be bored alone when they are in army i guess ..
cause due to waiting for my dear 5 brother in RTC haven release ...
and they are going army soon ...so sad ..
like that when i need someone to talk to ??who can i go ??!!!LOL

shi jie had some problem with his girlfriend ...due to doing some stupid things to hurt girls ..
OMG ...FUCK YOU SHI JIE ...sorry , as a brother ..i still need to say ...
cause this thing is not what we boy need to do i guess ..
i can only help as much as i can and really hope you treasure it brother ..
i really want you to have a good realation ship and stable down your life ..
promise me ok ? i don't mind you are busying with your girl friend ...
but i mind i do stupid things and yet you two had been together for 2 years ??
brother , all the best ...give in more because you did something quite wrong ..
please understand ..just let her do what she want and stop qurralling already k ?
as you know , i am a well know peace maker ..Wahahax.. so , i really hope all our brother will have the peace too ...outside what happen you don't peace ..i can do nice nice for you ...
but i really hope this things you must give in to it this time ...
ok , talk till here ..stop begin K.P.O already ...LOL
talk something about myself ...:D

My new computer had came ..!!!was qutite happy yeahhhhh ,
cause i can don't need to face the auto shutdown and other stupid problems already ..LOL
thats the reason why i am not posting my post for past few days .??!! lols.
but , of cause computer is not my everything ...
of cause you guys stands aibt in my life too...!!!wahahax.
was quite lazy to update ..LOL

btw , this few days i sleep at 6am morning ...and wake up quite early too ...
OMG , i am going shutdown like my computer too .!!!
feel like getting sick soon ...wohooo..thanks god ...tomorrow had a healing service !!!
go there heal heal heal ..!!!
but of cause ...i need my spiritual healing too.!!!

had some problems last few days ... due to someone got beaten up by 6people ..
and i need to help it out ..so i ask around who did it ..
and finally ...let me found out !!
so , we talk till abit angry that they don't want to admit wrong ??
so i keep asking ...want or not ??dont want then nevermind ...LOL
then they keep asking me out to talk ...OMG , make me so stupid angry !!!
so i tell them to come out now and talk ..ask them call everyone come down .
and at first i am going to give them ..
but , too bad ...they are same ..
and talk quite long for this problem ...
finally .settle with win win stuation ..:P

btw , i last few days hand abit itchy ...
so when to find some fighting ??LOL
end up me god bleed ...but , i never lose ..LOL
fighting spirit is one of me in my body ..!!
lols.
i am despo for the pain and the feeling !!Omg ..
i fond in love with fights ...
trust me , the pain is super nice feeling then ever drugs can take over..LOL

ok , lets talk about today !

today worship is a word...GOOD ...so touching that jesus die on the cross for our sin ..
and yet there are people saying he die for right ..jesus !!!save them please. !!!
service started at 2pm afternoon ..it was a good start ..
thank God for dying for us for our sin ...
and today was quite excited for the 5pm - 7pm drama show by new chris mission ..
it was quite a good story talking about people that got realationship problem with family and people that took drug and youth that turn to problems ..
it was really a good show ...and the best things of the part is ..
they do everything because of Jesus !!!!AMEM!
so clever of them ..really cause Jesus gave them the wisdom ..
and they where sharing that , Jesus is a god that change a person ...
i belive .. God is love !!!i feel it ..
you know , the show was quite touching ...as people that don't know the problem and never face before ...they don't understand ..its quite funny ...but i really find it very touching ...
it make me remind of my past that my family is also like that ..
and it remind me of those pain that i had in my family ...
but really thanks God , God change my family ...
and today .i had a great loving family ...
ya , sometime there is still fights ..but at least i know ..
God is the master of my house ..!!!

i am proud of my father ...and i love my father mother truefully ..
but sometimes too bad ..i don't know how to express out ...ohahaha..
ok , was quite a good past day and today ...
and there and quite many events that i like coming ...
was quite on form ..LOL
was just playing computer , sleep , eat , go out ..nothing real problem coming on ..
and tomorrow is a powerful day that i can meet someone since last meet ...
i really need to sleep so before i miss the meeting ..
and guys ...
she mean alot to me ..really .:)
pray for me that tomorrow everything will be fine and she would be happy after all ...:D
and one more event is the healing service at night ...cool man ...:D
updae soon , sorry for not posting last few days ..

you are cute , you are indecent in my heart always .
you are worthy , you are always stand tall .
you are pissed , remember i am always there .
you cried , please came to me , i will lend you my shoulder .
remember , i will always be there for you ..
right here waiting .

God bless and love ..
takecare..

Happy ...LoLS ??!!!

2009-04-05T22:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday church service is good ..
so glad for everything ..but one problem is i am very tired this few days ...
lack of sleeping ...keep sleeping at 5am wake up at 10am ...
i think i going black out if i like that again ..lols..

thanks for begin a good girl again ...
thanks for everything ..i treasured ..

Btw , nothing more in my life ...and i just got my computer done...WOOTHOOO!!!
Hahax ..
takecare guys.

boring + sad ???lols..

2009-04-03T13:23:00.000-07:00

yesterday sleep at 5plus again ..everyday same...:P
quite happy for my job ...:)
and today ...i wake up at 4pm in the afternoon !!!Omg , slot of lazy pig i am ...wahahax..
when for launch with my dad and pastor and pastor ma at yishun block 807...
after that , they when for leader meeting ...and i.....
when to park to have some walk alone ...
was seeing some kid's play volleyball ...thinking of my past ...LOL
enjoy without stressing ...never think about money problem ..
just to play everyday ...easily entertained . :D
how much i hope i will forever live in my young times ...
but i know ...i cant ...time is not waiting for me too ...
i better start thinking about my future ...

ok , then after that , i when back home ...and they just end the meeting ...
so , i prayed with them ...and when to Jabez house for Sunday worship practice ...
awhile ...caleb came too ...was choosing what sound to lead on this coming sunday ..
quite enjoy there ...
then after that ...when for prayer meeting at night with them ...
sing some songs and started praying for everyone even the world ...LOL
was kind of hungry on that time ...but ...who cares ...i can care for others ...but not myself ...LOL
but after prayer meeting ...we when to eat something at woodlands ...
but its not really a nice dinner through .. was drifted one side ???LOL
so when to find my friends for awhile near there ...thought may find something to de-bored myself ...so when over to find them ...
half way ...i make someone angry for my act saying all had been waiting me to go home ..
so , i faster say bye and go with them ...
then i just wanted to ask caleb about something ...but end up making someone angry ..
so , sorry for this ...
misunderstood goes more and more ...
don't understand what you all thinking bout ...
care and concern shows nothing ...
was quite emo at time thinking why should i do this and that ...think is satan jobs ...

Sorry for everything !!!!

but , no matter how people know me as ...i know God still love me ...
and i don't give a damn in yours life ..!!
think i putted a big wrong proity this time ...
i shall not ask much from you guys ...sorry~~~~
think i shall really wait my dear brother out ...
maybe on that time ...there will really be a listener for me ....
maybe they know me longer thats why ...
what for begin a joker that don't make people laugh ???
what for begin a listener to people don't talk ??
what for begin a lover that they don't have love ???
what for begin good when they don't feel good ?? wahahahahx...
emotion , feeling and mood ...you really got me in deep shit now ...
i hate it !!!
are we all really from different world ??
ya ,
we are darkness ...you are light ...
we are bad ...you are good ...
we had different childhood ..??
we came from different family ???
we came from different back ground ??
we have different needs ??
we had different topic ?
we do different things ??
we go different places ?
stay different places ?

is there really so many different from my life to you all ??
ohhhh , if its really ...
i think i should find groups that had the same background same childhood same dark same needs talk same topic do same things ba ...:D
Wahahahax ....God save me ...
Sorry guys ..btw , today prayer meeting learn alot ...but kind of lazy and moody to post and my computer started to auto shut down again...so .....sorry ...:D
if got chance ...i will post more to update ...

The most evil side of man is really scare ..
They can do anything to make you down plus give up ...
They can even ask you go do things that make you cant stand up and face people again ..
They can we good when happy , bad when happy ..

Sorry for my words today ...hope you will not put in your heart ..
just want you takecare yourself well you and your body ...
not giving up , but learning to be better ...
i will be back when i reach what personality you wanted ...
if the day i can't reach ..i will not be claiming iloveyou ..
i really hope you may share with me your saddness whenever you needs ..
cause i wantted to share the pain with you ..
share with me will you ?
wait for me will you ??

Thanks for accompanying me message at late night ..
Thanks for cheering me up ..

Good luck ..
God bless ..
Takecares ..
Thanks ..

Sad but thankfull day ...:D

2009-04-02T10:13:00.000-07:00

Slept at 5.30am yesterday .due to posting blog and watching tv ...
Omg , was kind of pissed ...i used 3 hours to post my blog , end up there small crop up and many things was deleted ....>.<

Okok , so i decided to post things on today ...:)
waaahhhhs , sleep at 5.30am woke up at 10am ...cause need to go MCYS for probation reporting ...shag shag ...was kind of tired ...at first was planning with my mum's for hair cutting ...end up i woke up late . So just bath and rush there ...lucky thanks God ..was not late cause i need to reach there by 11am ...
Before i when in , was kind of happy cause a new fresh day started..
and was talking to David on the phone ..was talking bout this year is quite tough ..
many bad things happen on me and him ..and it was true ...>.<
then , i when in for report ...guess what ...
when i first when in ...was kana nag like hell for my long hair ..
almost got scolded till head smelly ...LOL
but thanks god , i was there keep saying sorry and smiling ..:D
then we had done on some paperwork ..
she shared with me a hidden bless of God ..
was sharing , there is a ship that crash ...everyone was die ..
left a person alone in a small weird town ...
the person was sad and asking god ...why things happen like that , and i was thrown to a small town ..then nevermind , after that that person go build a small house and stay there for around a week ..and the small house was make by woods ...then ,
one day , the person when to hunt some food ...
but , when he was back ...he saw his little house was burn by fire ..and only left the ashes there ...LOL ...so he was really super disappointed and sad ..asking god , why will you treat me like that ..and now i had no place to stay !!!
but , 5mins later , a big boat came to rescue him ...
and he was asking ...why you know i am at here and i need to be rescue ?
the people said , cause we saw that there are big smoke going to the open air , and that means sos ?so we came over ...

ok roughly ...this story let me understand .
If his house was not burned ..
the big ship will not come to rescue him ...cause they don't know he was at there ..
due to the smoke ...:D
so that means , sometime things that we see may not be good to us ..
but god know ...
and if not because god let the house on fire burning , those people will not know he was there ..so , there is always a good way when we willing to wait and endure to the end ...:D

ok , then after all things ..i when home to relax , was very tired ...planning to sleep for awhile while we 6pm had a family fellowship at home ...but , after i when home with a laska , i am very full ,and i cant sleep ...so deiced to watch tv again ...but of course i did my worship and quiet time with god first ..!!!then i open my tv and watch , then when to open computer thinking who online ..
then saw , melissa ..chat with her about something for quite long ..
and ya , maybe i must change ...not you .:)
kind of stupid of me ..forever so stupid ...
then , i use comp till 6pm ..forgotten to sleep ...
lolx...then the xiao fang come over our our house as i don't know i suddenly got a new family members ...LOL
father was sharing on ..

Matthew 4:18-20 (the first disciples)

i learned something though the story ..

1.when God calling for you .Just put down your everything and start to walk with him and God promise is to show you more better things ..

2. we start nothing to walk with God ..Don't hold on to the world when following Jesus.

John 12 :24 (Jesus predicts his death)

"I tell you the truth , unless a kernel of wheat is planted in the soil and dies , it remains alone . But its death will produce many new kernels - a plentiful harvest of new lives ."

ok , i share abit ....you know the plants produce seed ?and the only way to grow more plants thourgh plants ..the seeds must die on the grow in order to grow again ..and i learned .

1. If you wanted to save/change a person .. you must die from yourself in order to do ..

2. Sacrifice for christ ..

3. Die to yourself in order to produces more ...

And sharing about sin power !!

1. Sinner will be crused for genaration ...

2. Satan will use sin to make you fall deeper and deeper in sin by take more sin to cover a sin ..and end up you will create more sin to yourself ..

then after fellowship , pastor leong came and teach english ..LOL
so was kind of hungry , when out to hunt for food ...so ...
was chatting on msn ..and meet up someone to fair price to +mai cai+ ..
and she said cook for me ...LOL , so cool ..free dinner uh ...so , when there to brought some indegrent and when her house to wait her to cook finish ..was kind of helping also ...lols..and it was really quite nice even it is not really nice :P
but really got the heart huh ...:)
so i packed some food home for my mother and father too ...
but , mother did not eat ...stupid...>.< your son cook for you de lehhhh....lolx..joking.
then eat ate drink ..finally my +tu zhi+ is full ...so happy ..
then i was telling the xiaofang ...call me mei mei , don't call me didi ..cause i don't like ..:(
and and and ...my day goes like this ...:D

was quite happy hearing she is fine ,
but for what i know ...
she got some problem going on in her mind ..
hope she will be fine ba .
hope she will know i am always there ba ...

Btw , i wanted to thanks ,

cun zhi nu er for wanted to be there for me ..
rena turtle for the thing ..
xiao.ning for the concen ..
caleb for the thing ..
david for the accompany ..
mel for the words ..
xiaoen for the promise ..
aunty mabel for the joy ..
alicia for letting me disturb ..
and ...mostly and firstly !!!
thank god for waking me up again today .!!
Thanks alot ..!:D

takecare lots.
thanks and love .
God bless..

Jeffrey's birthday + ye wan lu ...

2009-04-01T10:10:00.001-07:00

Yesterday slept at 5.45am due to posting blog and watching tv .:D
Before i slept , was think to pick up my phone and did something ..
but end up i had no courage to do it ... think i will not be welcome too .
So , Hope you will wake up for ______ ..
but before i sleep , i must make sure you will wake , so i did it !! ...wahahax , god bless me ...
so i when to sleep due to i need to wake up at 11am and reach gombak at 1.30 for some small problems ..Woahs , thanks David , LoLs ??
So after i reached for 20mins , mr.chua also came ...
and we when for our lunch together with , Ciffort , willis , me , mr.chua and jude ...
while eating , i was settling about something ..:D
and things go smoothly ..was a happy ending ??:D:D
After that , was kind of bored ...so i suggested to go to mr.chua house to play Gitah and piano and the most important is the dog !!! LoLs ..xiaojin ah xiaojin ,why are you so cute ..thought that mr.chua was kidding to me that he know how to play Gitah ..but end up , he play better then me ...LOL ..
that means , (ginger is still the old one hotter) ...LOL , i cant imaging a 62years old uncle play better then a 18plus years old me ...ROARS!!! Hahax ..
Then slack at his house for awhile , till ....forget the timing le ...sorry ..
then train down to woodlands with Ciffort ..and willis and jude train down to vivo city cause willis meeting his girlfriend there ..
so i and ciffort train down to woodland for some shopping ...
in the mean time , i was waiting ashely to end her CCA in school ...
cause we are going to jeffrey's birthday celebration at bugis don't know what suduku ..
yayaya , by right , we need to reach there by 7.15 pm lastest ...
but ....................by left , 7.15 pm i was still at ashely house outside !!!LOLS!!
Omg , jeffrey's should be quite disappointed on us ..LOL..
ya !! and i wanted to post a very sad things for today !!!>.< i waited all together timing for 3 hours and 55mins ....
god save me , its kind of wasting time today ...there are many ye wan lu today...LOL

And ok , i wanted to share a things today ...there is this guy i was chatting with him on msn , and i tolded him , my leg is now wrost then him , and i just came out of hospital and the doctor said "lucky, my leg almost the bone break ..and i even told him i run out of hospital ...and he really believe !!!LOLs...after that i told him is april fool !!! and his name is jabez.

And there is this girl , she told me she is now a great dancer and blah blah blah , i tought its real , but end up she only wanted to learn only ..and she told me april fool ..LOL
>.< and again she tell me she got police case today .. ask me go read her blog ..i read already , its not her again ...kana fake 2times by this stupid girl name kezzexxxx ..

wanted to cheat xiaoen that ashely was beaten up by my friends girl-friend ..but was not +chen gong+ ..clever xiaoen .!!

wanted to cheat janice that her friend got problem with me ...but was also not +chen gong+ clever janice ..!!

wanted to cheat wei xiang that i got problem and got beaten ..he told me , ya ,haven 12am ...faster go cheat other people ...LOL !!!!!

okok , write till here...its about 2.44am late ..
thanks guys for the colourfull day .!!!! love you all...
Good bless takecares ..

Hope you are enjoying too ...
wondering of you everytimes .
but i will still will try forget you , don't worry dude ..
God , i am not ready ..give me time ..

OMG!!!i posted very long ...but don't know why manything gone ...sorry , lazy to post back already ...SaD!!!:((

Bible study + bored in the afternoon ..

2009-03-31T11:20:00.002-07:00

Yesterday night i sleep at around 4am due to using computer ,
Was quite worry ..But , god bless ..:)

Study hard ,
go school often ,
and hope you will really find someone love you more then i did without giving you any problems more then i did ..Thanks god .

okok , and i gonna post about today today and today !!!

Woahhhs ~~~ today i woke up at 4 pm , think i was became kind of lazy ..LOL
was to meet David due to i promised i accompany him today .. Sorry ..:)
But end up i was sleeping till don't know at where ...
but the way . once i wake up ...was using computer , then after that ...was kind of bored.
so i when to park for a walk ...:D was breathing nice air ..hahax .. abit like (ah pek) life yeah ?
walked for 2 rounds then when home again to watch tv ..(ying yang lu) .
then meet janice and don't know what blah blah blah for dinner at northpoint ..
was waiting my mum to buy food , but waited till cannot wait , so meeted them, how sad..
was chit chatting about something .. quite funny of them ..:)
then after that when home for bible study .:)))
ok , then today ...Pastor leong was sharing on .

Matthew 24:1-25 ( Jesus foretells the future )
About the end time ..
was quite excited about this sharing ...but still not understand fully ...
Learned .

1. When god came , there will be many false prophet claiming they are messiah ..

2. Many people will turn to demolished .

3. When Jesus came back , they world will be corrupted . And Anti-Christ will take over the world ..

4. In the end time reaching , Israel will built a temple ..

5. 144000 of Israel will dare to say they believe in god even they will be persecuted ..

And was also sharing on .
1corinthians 15:50-57 (the resurrection of Christ)

ok, roughly share abit , before the end time of the world , there will be an anti-Christ proclaim he is messiah , and he will use bible to tell people to believe in them ..and the anti-Christ will had a great power from Satan ..he can heal and show many miracles to people and ask them believe in them but not God >.< .and anti-Christ will take over many parts of the world ..and many christian and unbeliever will be persecuted by them .. the persecuted last for 7 years as the bible says ..and the world will be in great problems .. and some true christian believer will suddenly listen to a tramper sound from god calling and transform and fly to the heaven ...:DDD

So guys out there , trust in god with all your heart , and obey him . and on that day ..you will listen to the calling and go to the heaven ..

ok , question is ...how do we know the person is belong to god or anti-Christ ??
answer is , see the fruits of the person ..what is the fruits ? ok , i share abit ...
fruits of the person means ..what the person action , is the person heart really pure in heart ?according to the bible , there are 9 fruits for every person on ,

Galatians 5:22
But the holy spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives :

1. The fruit of love .
2. The fruit of joy .
3. The fruit of peace .
4. The fruit of patience .
5. The fruit of kindness .
6. The fruit of goodness .
7. The fruit of faithfulness .
8. The fruit of gentleness .
9. The fruit of self - control .

and there are no law against these things !

So guys , if anyone got to knock at your door and start sharing things wrong according to the bible .. Or sharing things on the bible without any fruits .. just slam the door ...LoLs!!
joking ... >.<>

And lastly is , this coming is the last 7 years ...and we are living in the soon 7 years ...so beware for God resurrection ...
So guys out there , if you haven got to know God now , start believe in God and trust him ..maybe you will be save on that last 7 years ..:D

but i wanted to share something , i still did not get all the 9 fruits , so christian out there , pray for me !!!sorry god , i am still weak ..strengthen me please ...

Btw , its about 3.26am now ..think i need some sleep , and need to wake up on morning ??
so guys , takecares and god bless ...

Dont know what to share, Droping from high ..

2009-03-30T08:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday night is just like a nightmare ..
I want to wake up from this nightmare !!!...
How am i suppose to do next ?? sleep don't know what time yesterday ,
Sorry God again !!i did a very big mistake again ..god give me strength ..
i am very weak god ..teach me what to do can ?...
i wanted to be strong , but i have no strength ,
i don't want to do this , but i go did it ..
omg , what had happen to me ..i hate myself for all this .
ring most of my friend yesterday night , there is no one answered ..Ohoh ~!
friends for fuck ? relax la , nothing happen , say still i can fly to sky .
Got thing happen leh ? all step blur or step don't know ..??
I know once i post this , people will say i this i that ...fuck care la hor ..
And just to say , i had prepare for a great lost .
Since i am in great lost already , what for i scare ?
seriously 100 friend is always not better then a friend that care for me in my life .. And for now , i rather let you hate me then friends .
I am stack , anyone save me ??but don't worry ..i trust on to myself that i may stand higher again this time ..
people was just talking cocks with me , why should i treat the words so important and naive thinking its true ??
OMG , i was freaked here and there this time ...Wahahax .
ok then , let me tell you , if we got in a fight .. there is always many words to say ..same as me ..i am one of them too...WAHHA!!
Seriously , xiongyun .. i miss you alot .!!!how much i hope you will be back !!!
cause you are really only the one supporting me ever !!!
Thanks alot brother , i know you cant read my post ..
But i know you have a heart for me ..
And i rather have one friend that love me in my life then 1millions friend that bullshiting in my life ...i really think its time for me to wake up .
wake up for everything now , wake up for my naive ..
i really regret trusting human , really ...
If really my life would start over again , i would rather stay on to who am i ..
plus knowing god ...!!!
Ok , simple life start from today , will be simple reflects on who you are ,
whoever don't like my post today or don't like me...please...
FUCK OFF from now ..if not then i am sorry that i need to reflects what you gave on to me ...
I am selfish ?? yes , i am ..And always selfish .selfish loving myself then others..
If what i do or say make you angry ??come do a call and scold me try ...number is 90012089 !
Not happy on me , come all the best you can ..
And i don't belive there is this kind of people that don't run ..
Ha. Don't feel like talking on whatever things agian .
what i can do, i had done ...its your life , just do .
all the best ..........................
Lets put all this in the water and flows ..

And today , i wake up at 12plus pm ..
abit blur vision ...LOL
was waked by my father ...he was kind of cute ..when in to my room and start singing song looking at me ..LOL , father ah father ..why are you so cute at time ahs ??ok then , so i woke up and do my things ..then suddenly my father say the what xiao fang coming over our house ..omg , my father tought he keeping gans as ginna ..LOL , so funny arhs .?suddenly for nothing someone asked me call her jiejie ?jiejie arhs?can ...go change your name to jiejie then i call you jiejie lor ..how can i use to it , and in my life i only had a elder brother name Limmingshien that worthy for me to call korkor ..others kiss my shoes man .so she came and shared with my dad ..was quite sad for her ...and was praying for her to found God love ...:)
After that , she when home ...and i was using computer the whole day and when to park to walk ...quite a boring afternoon to me ..

Then evening time i and my dad when to have dinner with my mum due to she just finish her work ...so , we when to 848 to have our dinner together ...was so happy that quite a long time i had not really sit down together spending time with my mum and dad eating peacefully ..LOL, so was kind of happy can ...

ya ya , and suddenly xiao en called me !!!asking me what happen ...LoLs.
(still got someone care and notice my zhun zai)
Thank you xiaoen ...was really happy and kind of touched ..
so when home to online to chat with friend ?

Then suddenly my hand click click click till a blog .
so i read about the post ...
Omg , when i read , was kind of unbelive what i am seeing ...
even posted all this things on post ever ...
thanks for your great disappointment to me ....:D

who can i go to ?? God ! review yourself out can ??pleasee..
God , teach me how to walk this time again can ?
Hahax...
pray hard all is just a dreams ..:D

btw , wanna give a great thanks to xiaoen , caleb , david and janice .
tought its just a simple care , its more then enough ..:D

Btw , david wife messaged me for some reason , think its a must help problem this time ...and i will try my best ..

Next monday david is going back to police station due to the pass don't know how many years cases ..and he told me police intent to charge him to court ..OMG , brother , i don't wanna lost you ..who care ?:)

And xiaoen : i am very glad for everything ..thanks very much really ...don't worry about me .i will be fine i think . :D

Caleb : brother , thanks much also ..:D

janice : thanks also , i know you don't know me got blog , so i posted ... tommorrow if i free i meet you ... :D

Yo~

2009-03-29T12:51:00.000-07:00

yo...im finally done ur blog....Takecare ASS :D

xiia0d3vil ^;...;^

Satan ah Satan !!!!

2009-03-29T09:41:00.002-07:00

Thanks for treating me like that !
Thanks for bring me tall and push me down !
Thanks for everything !

Trust me , if what happen one day , is satan !!

WOW !! very freaking high man !! lost till cannot !!!
Ya , i die in your hand this time .. This freaking time i am in dead lose !!
Thanks for giving me the war-war again in my life ..
And this is much much stronger hurts feeling ever then all freaking girl does .!
You boy's outside listen hard !!!
If anyone got to hurt her or do what to her ..
Please pray very very hard that i will not know ...
If not i make sure not only you the one but your whole family !!
Thanks for all the part time job i need to do ..
Please don't let me saw you , i swear i will treat you nice things you ever never think before ..

Satan ah satan , Happy liao hors ?ehhh, satan , attack me all you can la ..
Dont be a dog hiding attacking other or me without notice .
Dare you come out , i kai jio you ..
satan ah satan , trust me , if i die in hell ..i will still let your head break !!
Nice one la hor .. Want die together ah ..come lo !!!!

GOD SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Church day ...

2009-03-29T02:05:00.002-07:00

Yesterday night i did a biggest mistake ,
and i know god is watching me ..
I am sorry .
sorry god .. only you know me best .true fully , thanks for blessing my life ..
sleep at 2am , due to play computer busy bout posting blog ..:D
halfway Janice called and chit chat , halfway her friend wanted to chit chat with me also ...LAME>.<
so chat with them for awhile ..
After that was kana chase to sleep ..LOL
They are kind of bo liao , telling me this and that ..

Was thinking about you for whole day , wondering what happen to you ...
why there is no sound on you .. Are you fine ?
I am worry please ..God , don't trick me please ...
I NEED YOU .!

Today morning wake up at 8am by dad ,
Was bring to church ...:D and had a great worship there ...LoLs .
Today worship was power .. and the songs was very touching ..
really thank god for the enjoyment ....
After that , uncle roland preach on praise and worship today ..
Was quite good ..but abit like sharing ...hehex.
ok now , let me share what i had learn today ..:D

1. was sharing on psalms 22 .

2. 2Chronicles 20:3 Seek the lord !obey and trust on to the lord .

3. when you are humble , you will saw god .

4. when ever we don't know what to do or what .seek on to the lord , and he shall guide you ..

5. 2Chronicles 20 verse 15 , teach us when we face our problems , don't be fear , just seek to the lord that everything is his ..

6. God blessing is money that cant buy .!

After church end , we did some prayer and sharing ...
But , abit sad that ashely mei mei cant join us ...
LOLS...wan qian ah wan qian ..
Then when home play comp and stuff ..
When to meet a friend for awhile , then go meet my parents and eat ..
Whahahax .what a pack day lor ..

you told me you wont , but you did .
you told me you will , but you never .
you told me ok , for you not ok .
you said this , but you did that ...

ok , nothing much to post ..
GOD BLESS ME !!~!!

Disappointment , happy and Hope ...

2009-03-28T07:16:00.001-07:00

Yesterday sleep at around 5am , due to waiting ...
In the moment , i was watching a movie (Xanda) ..
The fighting is quite cool ...learned alot new stuff ...
Then finally , i cant tahan already , so i when to sleep ...

Waked up ...i see my phone ...there is no anything ...
Was so worry bout something ...did called .
But never answer ...but never mind ...Let God do the job ...:)
So i get ready and stuff for some work thing ..
meet up Janice and friends at yishun for some reason ...
slack for awhile with them to spent time ...Cause waiting shi jie to reach yishun mrt to go gombak..

Then , she called ..told me something quite disappointed to me ..
I almost lost again , But thanks god ..i might control abit ..>.<
Things go colder and colder , i wondering why and what happen ,
all i wanted is you , but fate always joke me around ..
Hope you will live happy ever after bahhhx ..
Hope god will protect her and watch after her .

Then , when shi jie reached ..
we train down together to bukit gombak to visit David ..
He was quite sad and stress about something ..
Was praying for him for quite long .asking god to talk over him ..
David , i know you wont see this , thats why i wrote here ..:D
I am very happy to have you in my life as a brother ..
Really , you are really a good brother of mine ..
And i know you got heart , i am very happy , at least i know there is someone care and love me ..
Thank you for everything brother .!!

Then saw his mum , again....share gospel time !!!:D
share and pray with her mum ..her mum told me ..The swollen things is getting smaller and smaller and not pain anymore ..Amen?!!
And i and shi jie pray for her mum's back ...she shared , when she sit and stand , there is a pain on the back ...she asked me to pray for her ...so i did .and i told her , after i pray for her , ask her to sit stand sit stand 2 times ...so she did , and she told me , no pain agian ....WOW~!!!!...GOD, i love you !!!thanks for using me ...Thank you jesus !!:D

After that , when to yishun northpoint , tot of celebrating with wei yan due to her birthday ..
But her boyfriend weixiang got pobation , so had no time to celebrated .
So , nevermind .
When to yishun funland to meet janice ..slack around there and wait for willis to come ..
Then willis reached , he told me friend kana beaten at sembawang...
so , called sembawang to find out who did it ...and did some settlement among each other ..
then now , i was at home posting blog ...

Felt we had been drifted apart , was totally disappointed and sad .
If things really go like this ...
Then i shall hold on to the past then ..
Thanks for those colourful days you gave me ..
I was really happy and i admit i had really fall in love with you ,
We had gone through many things ...
Really hope that the past momemt may stop there forever ..
But i know it is impossible , and i really wanna to fight for it ..
Becasue i cant lie my feeling ..
Sorry for begin sensative sometime , becasue i am really worry ..
I really dont want to drift apart with you ..
Really , really , really ..
Thanks alot for giving in to me that much last time ..
Thanks alot for standing my stupid attitute ..
Thanks alot for begin there for me when i am in the most down ..
Thanks alot for all those day ...
Thanks alot for the care and concern ..
Thanks alot for letting me know there is someone there ..
Thanks alot for trying ..
You do alot to me ...
GOD BLESS!!!

Getting ready to sleep , tomorrow church !!!

Life is UP and DOWN ..

2009-03-27T07:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday sleep at 2 am ,
Was thinking of her every time , but think she don't care either too...:D

Today morning , wake up at around 12pm ..
And because my father cooked i wake up for lunch due to the smelling is too strong ...:)
After that , get ready and stuff to go out , but i want to meet her , she not free ...
When out at around 2.15 pm ...
And i when to bukit gombak for some stuff thing ..
Friend was sad and found no one understand him ...
He fighted with his wife , due to some thing ..
His mum ask me to pray for them .. So i prayed for them ...
Hope he is fine bahhs ..

After that , meet her at causeway ..and jabez , xiaoen ...
we walked from woodlands to admiralty for prayer meeting ...
We walk super duper long till my leg cramp ...
Then finally , We reached...:D
when to Issac house for prayer meeting ...
And its his birthday today!!Happy Birthday Issac

Today !! Pastor leong shared on 1Samuel 1:9-20 (Hannah's Prayer for a son)
learned 5point through pastor sharing ..

1.In the past , people thought that women that can't give birth to children is because they are curse by god for some reason ...

2.If god had to place a promise , he/she will no longer worry ...

3.Many people will drought god because of some circumstance or try compared among each others life ...

4.God built out character up by facing problems ...but he won't give you a problem that you can't settle ..

5.Wait for the lord and you will feel god works in you ..

Then , after that we when home ..
Was quite worried for my friend ..
Was quite sad that i stand far in her mind ..
Hoping she will not got hurt bahhhx ..
Sorry , i can't changed ..

OKOK , say till here le ..
Takecare everyone ...
May god bless you all ..!!!

The visit to xiong yun

2009-03-26T04:58:00.001-07:00

Yesterday i sleep at around 2am plus ..due to play computer and do some stuff ..
Was talking to ashely yesterday for awhile ...asking her how is her and blah blah blah ..
And she say i bo xim ... Wahahax ..
Okok ..everyone , wan qian sounds nice or ashely sound nice ?
Wan qian right ??!!!LOL

Ok , i want to end here ..
wanna talk about today .!!

Today i wake up at 12.30 pm , got some calling from friends .(so i wake up >.<)
Talking on phone with mr.david till 1pm ..Then ...
I climb out of my bed and do something ..
After that bath and stuff then meet my dear xiongyun father ..
Then train down to Tpy and visit him ...
Was so happy to saw him ...but ...he is sick .
we chit chat for 30mins then over le ..

Then then then hor!!!!

Came back home , saw pastor they all ...
they brought some food for me and family ..

After i ate , i take gitah and songs go to my rooms and worship and pray .!!!
Worship and pray for 45 min ...
Meeting ashely at 9pm at northpoint ,
Meet for nearly an hour..Wahahax..
Saw some of my friends , talk awhile for some job things ..
Then rush home ..
Reached home around 10.05pm .Breached probation ...
LOL .

She is moody today , hope she is fine and happy ..
Dont want to pick up fight with her anymore ..
just hope she is happy all the time ...
Sorry that i felt so sorry ..
Hope you are fine ...
No matter what happen , trust me ... i will always there willing to be monkey entertain you making you smile just once ...

I prayed for 45 mins ..god presence is strong ...
Thank you lord ..
Seek him and he will seek you ...
TRUE ! !

Ok , nothing much to talk about today ...
Live in a simple way of living make you feel more peaceful ...:)

Gospal Sharing With David's mum

2009-03-25T07:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday i sleep around 2plus , due to watching tv again...:D
And yesterday i had a good time with my father , we share among each other ..
Talking about why some pastor preach, holy spirit don't really works .
Ok , stop here ...:)
Gonna talk about today today today !!!!

Woke up at around 1pm afternoon ,
By right i 1pm is at Christ church sec outside... LOL
But by left i am still sleeping ...SORRY@#@#^!!!!
Then after that i when to bukit gombak for some reason ..
Sorry god .>&^%*^!!!!!
But thanks god , i saw David's mum , and she share her leg is pain ..
so so so , holy spirit promt me to pray for her ..
and i ask her , "aunty , may i pray for you .?"
She reply "yes ! i am so happy to be prayed..."
Wahahahax...!!!!
So i ley my hand and pray and pray and pray for aunty,
And after that , she stand up , and she told me ...
ALOT BETTER ALREADY AND NOT THAT PAIN ALREADY ...
Wahahahax..
Amen ??praise god right ?:D
And was sharing with her about bible for 2hours plus ..
Then i when home ...

And And And ,
i had a great time with my father again today ..
he teaches me 7 steps of spiritual life ..
wahahax ..
we share among each other ...
and he ask me to read THE BOOK OF LEVITICUS to find more about it ..
so , if anyone interested , please go read too ...:D
Sorry for every hurt i gave you ..
Sorry for not begin with you all time ..
Sorry for my stupid things ..
Hope you will forgive me ..
Hope you are fine always ..

Nothing more to write already ...
Take care everyone ...
May god bless you all ..

Happy day .

2009-03-24T08:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday sleep quite late due to watching tv ..
sleep around 4 plus ...:)

Today i am quite happy that i can meet her and might able to meet her .
Its been quite a long time since last saw her .wahahahax
After that when for bible study at my home ..
Pastor leong was teaching about don't lie against god and don't against the holy spirit ..
Was preaching in ACTS 5 (1-11) Story of Ananias and Sapphira ..
After that we prayed and confess asking god for forgiving ..

And and xiaoen share on something today and talk about me ..
she thought i might got hurt ...Wahahax..
To xiaoen : i will not be hurt so easy ...don't think too much kk ?

Btw , think i opened this blog the biggest motive is to share my feeling and what i gone though to other people that read this blog , because i treasure every second of moment in my life ..
People that know me would be amazed by this , but just to tell you all , i want to lead a better life by letting god use .Because god had show me so many things in my life ..:D

Manytimes i may be bad , be nasty ...i am sorry for all this ..

Ok , got to end here ...
Post tommorrow ...
God Bless !

Sleep Sleep Sleep !!!!

2009-03-23T04:09:00.001-07:00

Today i was keep sleeping sleeping and sleeping
No life arhhhs ??
Dont know how to play blog ...
Trying to slot out , but comp keep restart ..

But But But , i read your blog ...was quite disappointed and sad ..
But nevermind ba .. think all you say is right ...
And ............ i ...... deserve everything ...
Sorry a billions .....
Nothing to post already ...:D

waiting for the dayyyyyy...

LOL

2009-03-22T02:40:00.000-07:00

xiia0d3vil was here... :D